


Out of the Fire

by Tasha_T



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 34,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasha_T/pseuds/Tasha_T
Summary: A moment of passion . . . leads to a fire.  A real one!  Heidi and her daughter are without a home until repairs can be made, and the prospect of the two of them living together for two weeks or more in a small hotel room are too horrifying to contemplate.  So Heidi takes up Julia's offer to stay with her and her daughter.  It would be so perfect . . . her and Julia together all the time . . . if not for their two daughters . . . who have no idea.  That makes the arrangement a little more complicated.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

“Jesus, mom, what’s going on?”

I glanced up to see Sophie – my daughter – standing there, her arms crossed and a look of disdain on her face.

I looked around – at the fire truck and the half dozen firemen who were rolling up hoses and looking ready to leave soon. I turned back to my daughter. I’m sure I looked totally stunned, because that’s how I felt.

I stood from the seat I’d had on the curb. “Uh, we had a fire.” I struggled to get the words out. It seemed surreal . . . like it was a dream or something. God, how could this be happening?

“Duh, no shit,” was my daughter’s empathetic response. Like normal, she added the eye roll, just for effect.

I was still in shock, so I didn’t even think to comment on her language – for all the good it would do.

“How did it start?” she demanded.

I just looked at her and shrugged, but before I could even add a comment she hit me with another question.

“And what’s Jenna’s mom doing here?”

I felt my face flush as I glanced across the street at the tall blonde woman talking with one of the fireman.

“Um . . . she came by . . . we were . . . we were talking about some school stuff . . . you know, that bake sale thing . . . for the senior prom. She was helping me with that.” I stammered as I spoke, and kept my head down, away from my daughter’s searching eyes.

She took a second, and when I glanced up she had this incredulous look on her face.

“Seriously? She’s helping you? Julia?” There was a little head shake and a half eye roll.

I was surprised she knew my guest’s first name. Normally I would have told her it wasn’t appropriate for her to use it like that, but this was a topic I very much wanted to move past.

I already had a knot in my stomach, and this topic – as well as the skepticism I heard in my daughter’s voice – was twisting it tighter.

“Yeah, she . . . she wanted to help,” I added weakly and prayed Sophie would move on. My prayer was answered . . . sort of.

“Why are you wearing that top? That isn’t what you were wearing before.”

My daughter, who couldn’t spot a pile of dirty dishes waiting to be washed, a basket full of laundry to be put away, or an empty toilet paper roll that needed replacing, could spot that I’d changed tops. How was that possible?

“Uh, I . . . well, I changed,” I managed to sputter out. I could feel my face flush again. My chest felt so tight I was sure I was only seconds away from a heart attack. I was actually thinking it might be some kind of blessing in disguise.

“Maybe I could just fake one,” I considered. Perhaps I was being just a little irrational . . . .

It eventually occurred to me that with all these firefighters right here, they’d probably figure it out pretty quick. So much for that brilliant plan. I took a deep breath and prayed that my daughter’s inquisition had reached its end. 

Sophie was still eyeing the top I was wearing. I felt the need to comment further, so I added, “You know, I changed because . . . I was having company. Right?” It just came to me, and it even seemed to make sense.

I gave her a look of desperation. I so hoped she’d accept it. But like everything else tonight . . . it really didn’t matter what I wanted, because I wasn’t getting it.

Sophie gave my top the once over, got a little sneer on her face, and said, “Really? That’s what you decided to wear because you had company coming over?”

Why was I relieved that the look of disdain she was giving me seem more to suggest she thought I was a moron than I was lying? I should have been offended . . . but instead I felt relief. I’d take it.

Still, I looked down because I didn’t even have a clue what top I was wearing. It was an old, oversized sweatshirt from my college days that I used for lounging around when I just wanted to be comfortable. Definitely not something I’d purposely put on to greet company.

Shit, when did my daughter become Sherlock Holmes? I really had no clue how to respond.

“Heidi? Heidi?”

I heard my name being called. I was saved, sort of. I turned towards Julia – the tall blonde. She was walking towards me, with the fireman in tow.

“Hey, Julia,” I called as she approached, and cut my eyes towards Sophie. 

Julia just looked at me, puzzled, but when I clenched my teeth and gave a little nod Sophie’s way she finally got it. 

“Oh, hey there Sophie?” Julia tried to sound casual, but she seemed suddenly fidgety and her eyes seemed to be darting in every direction other than towards Sophie. She wasn’t doing any better than I had.

Sophie was clearly less than impressed to have to deal with Julia. I saw the way her lips formed a hard line and how she narrowed her eyes. It was anything but a kind, friendly look.

As far as I knew, Sophie had never had anything to do with Julia, but I knew Julia’s daughter, Jenna, wasn’t Sophie’s favorite person these days. They’d been friendly a few years back when they played soccer together – not good friends or anything, but still. Apparently things had changed since then. 

Julia and I had talked about it once, but neither or us understood the drama between the two of them these days.

Julia turned back to me, but I could see the way Sophie was glaring at her was making her uncomfortable.

“Um, I left my purse in you house when we had to get out.”

I nodded because I knew this. We’d talked about it earlier while we stood watching the thick, black smoke billow out of every window in the place.

She nodded towards the fireman she’d been talking to. “Um, this is Lieutenant Martins. He says I can’t go back in to get it, but he might be able to get one of his men to grab it for me if I can tell him where it is, and if you can confirm that its mine.”

I gave Julia a little smile and a nod, and then turned to the fireman and nodded again. “Yeah, sure, no problem. It’s probably . . . .”

I glanced back at Julia. 

“Oh, it’s probably in the living room, on that first big chair when you enter the room. I think I dropped it there when I came in.”

I dropped my eyes and my face flushed as I remembered Julia’s arrival. Just thinking about it made my heart beat a little faster . . . until I glanced at Sophie. Then that huge knot was back again, crushing my insides.

Julia was looking my way. I gave a little shrug. I honestly didn’t remember anything about the purse. It really wasn’t what I had been focused on.

“Oh great . . . my chair,” Sophie whined, almost as if she were somehow repulsed by the idea.

I turned to her and glared, and then turned back to Julia. “Sorry,” I told her softly.

She gave me an understanding smile. She had a daughter too, after all. “No worries.”

Julia glanced from me to Sophie and then back. “So have you decided where you’re going to stay tonight?”

The fireman had told me there wasn’t that much damage to the house itself – it was mostly limited to a bit of scorched walls and carpet in my room – but the smoke had been thick and had filled the whole house and there was some water damage. He’d warned me that there was no way we were going to be staying in it until all the smoke was cleared out . . . and even then, he thought I’d need some work done to make it livable.

I glanced at Sophie as well. I shook my head. I felt exhausted and lost. I just wanted to bury my head under a pillow somewhere and pretend that none of this was happening.

“We’ll probably just grab a room at a hotel for tonight,” I finally said. 

I realized that Sophie and I only had the clothes on our backs, at least for now. I found myself shaking my head again.

“Hey, you know I’ve got extra space at my place . . . ,” Julia offered.

I turned my eyes to her and gave an appreciative little, “Thank you.”

“Oh, no way,” I immediately heard my daughter vehemently exclaim. “No way we’re doing that.”

I didn’t even bother looking her way. I kept my eyes on Julia. I could see she was ignoring Sophie too – which I was happy about. I gave her a weak smile before saying, “Thank you so much for the offer, but I think we’ll just grab a hotel tonight and I’ll figure it out tomorrow when my brain’s working again.”

I felt about ready to collapse. It was just easier if I didn’t have any more drama this night.

Julia nodded. She hesitated for just a second, and then gave me a big hug. “Okay. But if you decide tomorrow that you want to, the offers still stands. Just call me.” I saw her glance Sophie’s way before she added, “We’ll work it out. Really.”

I gave her another squeeze and another, “Thanks,” before we parted.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sophie looking at me and making a face like she was going to puke. She was such a sweet girl . . . and then she became a teenager.


	2. Chapter 2

I lay in the unfamiliar bed at the Holiday Inn, just a mile from my place, and tried to get my thoughts in order. I still had my old sweatshirt and my panties on – I didn’t have anything else to sleep in. 

I could sense Sophie laying awake in the bed beside mine, no doubt considering how many other ways she could think of to tell me this was all my fault and how I was ruining her life. I was seriously losing my patience with my whiny, miserable daughter. 

I’d already blown up at her when we’d first gotten in the room. I had to watch her roll her eyes in utter disgust and listen to her bitch, “Seriously? This place is so pathetic. Do we have to stay here?”

I half wanted to say, “Well I’ll call Julia right now if you’d prefer,” just to piss her off.

I remember I was a handful as a teenager, and not the most pleasant person to be around, but I was sure I was no where’s near as miserable as she was.

And of course I’d had to continue to listen to her run down Julia. Julia had given us a ride over because I my car keys were in the house and I had no idea where. After all she did for us – and offered to do – my daughter still felt the need to bitch about her and wonder out loud how we could be friends. And, of course, demand to know when we’d become friends anyways. She said she’d never heard me talk about Julia or mention I was getting together with her.

I did my best to dodge that question. I just told her I’d worked as Julia’s agent when she sold her house and bought the one she was in now. I very much did not mention all the other times we’d gotten together since then.

It was surprisingly hard lying to my daughter that way – even knowing how often she lied right to my face. Yes, we had just a wonderful relationship.

I considered how pissed I’d be to find Sophie had been out with someone I didn’t know about. I’d have a million questions for her, that was for sure. It sure felt incredibly uncomfortable now that the shoe was on the other foot.

I shook my head. No. That wasn’t quite right. I was an adult and she was a child who I was responsible for. It really wasn’t the same. 

I still felt bad about the lies, though.

As I was pondering the evening, my mind turned to Julia. That brought a secret smile to my face . . . and put another knot in my stomach.

I was certain I was right to keep the truth from Sophie. I honestly had no idea how she’d handle it if I told her, but based on her general response to pretty much everything, I was certain it wouldn’t be a ringing endorsement.

My mind returned to Julia. I thought of how thrilled I was when I opened my door to her tonight. It had been four days since I’d seen her – she’d been out of town for a couple of days and I’d been tied up with work.

I’d texted to tell her Sophie was going to be working, so I’d be home and alone. She was barely through my door when I had my arms around her and my lips were on hers. It was a long, urgent kiss, and I was thrilled to see she seemed just as passionate as I was.

I’d meant to offer her some wine . . . to sit and talk for a while and catch up . . . but the second my lips left hers I whispered, “Why don’t we go to the bedroom?” There was a certain desperation in my voice.

I could see that same desperate longing in Julia’s face, so I knew her answer before she even said it.

We kissed and pulled at each other’s clothes as we made our way across the living room and into my bedroom. Julia had my top half off, so I pulled it the rest of the way and threw it before my lips found hers again.

We were like two over-sexed teenagers who needed it so badly we were oblivious to everything else. I guess that’s why I didn’t notice my top had landed on the electric space heater I kept in the corner of my room.

I was already down to just my panties and I was frantically working Julia’s tight jeans down when I caught my first whiff of smoke. I totally ignored it. My mind was too focused on what I wanted – what I needed – to care about anything else.

We were on the bed, kissing and caressing each other, with Julia already moaning softly, when we heard that ‘whoosh’ and the strange crackling sound. It was odd enough to draw both of us out of our frantic activities. 

Julia spotted it first and shouted, “Holy shit, there’s a fire.”

I rolled off of her and stared as the flames climbing my curtains and starting to spread

I’d jumped up and run over to it to try and put it out. Standing there in just my panties, though, I realized I had no idea what to do. That’s about when my smoke alarm started going off and Julia was pulling on my arm telling me we had to get out.

She was the one who thought to grab the clothes that were strewn across the floor. I’d grabbed the baggy sweat shirt on our way out, because I’d seen the remains of my top laying there, burning, on top of the heater.

Julie led me out the back door, and we’d quickly dressed on the small, enclosed porch. By then we could hear the sirens. Luckily my smoke detectors are hooked into my security system. They must have contacted the fire department. There was a station only a half mile away.

Yes, the magical evening I’d been so looking forward to had turned into a nightmare. I closed my eyes. I felt like crying.

I lay there for a long time, wide awake, trying to process everything, trying to wrap my head around what had happened. 

I glanced at the faint outline of my daughter in the bed beside mine. I had absolutely no doubts . . . there was no way she would understand what had happened . . . or what was happening between Julia and me.


	3. Chapter 3

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was getting a headache, but it had less to do with the whole fire and insurance and work and all of that . . . and more to do with dealing with my daughter.

We were shopping. We both needed clothes, but I was having a hard time getting it through my daughter’s head that these were just to tide us over . . . so we weren't buying designer labels and spending a fortune.

“You expect me to wear this shit to school?” she’d whined as she held up a sample of what the discount store we were in had to offer.

“We just need enough to keep ourself going until we can get our clothes from the house and get them cleaned” I explained for the hundredth time. “Unless you’d prefer to smell like smoke.” I couldn’t help being a little harsh with her. Her shitty attitude was making an already difficult situation worse.

“And watch your language,” I added belatedly. It was only half hearted, and I knew full well it would have no impact. I just didn’t have the energy, though.

I heard the little trill from my phone. It was the special one I’d set up in a moment of weakness, but now it brought an immediate smile to my face. I yanked my phone out of my purse and quickly opened the text.

I could feel Sophie staring at me and I fully expected a comment from her. How many times had I complained about her need to immediately check her phone the second a text came in, no matter where we were or what was going on.

I did my best to ignore her as I read the words from Julia. “Just thinking about you. Hope everything’s going okay. Call me if you get a chance. I’d love to hear from you.”

In spite of the attention I knew I was receiving from Sophie, I couldn’t help the big smile that formed on my face. “Thx. I’ll try to call later.” I texted back, and then stuffed my phone back in my purse. Just those few words seemed to do wonders for my headache. Julia always had a talent for lifting my spirits.

“So who was that?” Sophie asked. Or maybe I should say, demanded. She seemed to be watching me carefully. I had no doubt she’d seen my reaction. I guess I could have made an effort to hide it . . . but some rebellious part of me screamed out, “Why should I?”

“Maybe you should just tell her,” that rogue part of my brain suggested, but I immediately shut it down. That wasn’t going to happen. Not now, anyway. 

Honestly, I couldn’t quite imagine a future where I would tell Sophie, but it still bothered me that I felt I had to hide how I felt.

So I lied.

“Um, it was work,” I told her.

She stared at me, her eyes hard and her face looking unconvinced. “Who?”

“Oh, it was . . . Dave Reed. He just wanted to let me know everything was under control.” 

Dave was one of the guys I worked with, and really sweet. He was actually covering for me today while I dealt with everything. Luckily, I didn’t have a lot on.

Sophie continued to eye me.

I was such a bad liar that I was sure Sophie could totally see through me, but then she gave me a little nod and turned back to looking at clothes.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I really wasn’t sure I could go on like this.


	4. Chapter 4

“Seriously?” I said.

I could feel Sophie watching me. I loved my daughter, but being in these close quarters with her was starting to drive me mad. I was sure she was feeling the same way.

“I know . . . okay . . . yeah, I want it to be done right but . . . .” I sighed. “Two weeks?” It came out like a plea, like I was saying, “Tell me it isn’t true,” . . . like it was a prison sentence or something.

“Yeah, okay, thanks. No, I appreciate it.” I hung up.

I closed my eyes. “God, shoot me right now,” I was thinking. There’s no way I would last two weeks . . . or possibly even longer. 

Two weeks. That was the best case, assuming they didn’t find any hidden damage that needed fixing, and assuming they could get the sub-contractors right away. And there was no guarantee of that.

“What did they say?” Sophie asked. For a change there wasn’t that attitude . . . it was more like trepidation.

I didn’t open my eyes . . . I just spoke. “They said two weeks . . . at least. And that’s once they get in there . . . and assuming they don’t find anything they didn’t expect.”

Sophie was quiet for a moment, but of course that was too good to last.

“So we’re stuck in this shithole until . . . like, forever?” She said it with her full on attitude. It made me want to strangle her.

I waited a moment, and then in a very soft voice said, “What the fuck do you want me to do about it?”

I finally opened my eyes and turned them on her. I glared, because I was totally, fucking sick of her constant whining and complaining.

She looked a little stunned. I’m not sure she’d ever heard me say ‘fuck’ before. I had a feeling that in these next two weeks it was a term I’d be using again. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but seeing her like this satisfied me in some twisted way.

I knew right then we couldn’t possibly stay in this room together for two weeks or even longer. “What the fuck were we going to do?”

My phone trilled. I kept my hard eyes locked on Sophie for another moment, and then finally picked it up.

This time I made an effort to keep my face in check, but in spite of that, I still felt the corners of my lips creeping up as I read Julia’s words.

“How’s it going, beautiful? Haven't heard from you in a while. Just wanted you to know I missed you. Maybe we can do lunch tomorrow? Bet you know what I’d rather be doing with you.”

I texted back. “Just heard from the contractor. Two weeks, minimum. I love her, but I’m afraid I might kill her if I’m stuck here with her that long.” I knew I didn’t have to say who ‘her’ was.

My smile was getting bigger. I know what I wrote was horrible and a total exaggeration, but it felt so good to be able to get it off my chest.

Julia seemed to be taking a while. I wondered if she’d gotten interrupted by something . . . maybe Jenna. But just when I was getting ready to give up, another message arrived.

“Come stay here.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Thank you so much,” I said as I gave Julia a hug.

We had talked about it at lunch. We knew what was at stake. We were both doing our best to play it cool, not show the excitement we felt. God it was hard, but we’d agreed it was necessary.

“Hey, I’m glad I could help. We’ve got lots of room . . . well, you know that. You helped me buy this place. But really, you and Sophie . . . .” She glanced Sophie’s way and gave her a warm smile. “. . . you make yourselves at home. I know it’s only for a short time, but I really want you to treat our place like it’s your own.”

“So you’re expecting mom to start a fire,” Sophie offered with her usual warmth.

I shot daggers at her . . . for all the good it did. 

I finally turned back to Julia. I’ve got to say, I was doing a much better job of keeping my feelings in check than she was. She was grinning and acting almost giddy about having us – okay, I’m assuming it was more likely me – staying with her.

Sophie was standing on one side of the room, her arms crossed and almost a snarl on her face. Jenna was on the other side of the room, about as far away from Sophie as she could possibly get, sporting a very similar look. They shot the odd dark look at each other, but mostly they seemed to be trying to pretend the other didn’t even exist in this universe.

Julia and I may have been thrilled about being under the same roof, but it was clear our daughters didn’t share those feelings . . . even a little bit.

Sophie had gone totally ballistic when I told her we were moving in to Julia’s. She’d refused to even talk to me for a full day . . . and was it bad of me that I kind of enjoyed it.

I’d even received a call from one of her friend’s moms. Apparently Sophie had been hinting quite openly that she’d like to stay there while we were out of our house. The mom sounded only reluctantly willing to consider it . . . but I wouldn’t inflict that kind of misery on anyone else, so I told her, “No.” She sounded relieved to me.

From what Julia told me, her daughter wasn’t any more thrilled by the arrangement. 

I’d said to Sophie, “So what, you’d rather spend the next two weeks or whatever cooped up in here with me? Is that what you’re saying?”

She gave me the usual scowl and rolled over on her bed so her back was to me. As she did I heard her mutter, “I’d rather sleep in a dumpster.” 

I wasn’t sure if that was her alternative to staying at Julia’s or sharing a room with me . . . or both.

I’d really had it with her, so I’d yelled, “Well too fucking bad.” That word seemed to be finding its way into my regular vocabulary. “We’re staying at the Clark’s and that’s that. Although I guess you could go stay with your father if you’d rather do that.”

Sophie and I maybe didn’t get along the greatest, but she detested her father – especially after he’d ditched us for this skanky bimbo he’d met at a strip club. I may have been hard for her to handle, but he was absolute shit in her books. So not surprisingly, she didn’t respond to me.

And now here we were, one big happy group, all standing around Julia’s living room . . . two of us giddy about the arrangement . . . and two of us seething. How wonderful!

Julie turned to her daughter. “Jenna, why don’t you show Sophie where she’s staying. It’s the bedroom in the basement.”

Jenna gave her mother an icy glare, and then without a word turned and walked out of the room. Sophie was looking at her, and then at me, trying to figure out if she should follow, but the sound of a door slamming down the hallway kind of told us the answer.

Julia sighed, and then after a second managed to put a smile on her face. “I’ll show you, Sophie,” she said as she led her toward the stairs that descended to the basement.

I could hear her saying, “You’ll have a little more space down here . . . some privacy . . . and your own bathroom.” Hopefully that helped.

Initially Julia had thought she should give me the basement bedroom, so I had the extra space and a bathroom I didn’t have to share. The more we talked about it, though, the more we decided we would probably be creating a disaster putting Jenna and Sophie in adjoining rooms and asking them to share the bathroom. 

We both eventually agreed this seemed like the safer option. Julia had smiled then – she had a smile that just lit up her whole face – and softly said, “Plus, then you’ll be right across the hallway from me.”

I couldn’t help smiling too. I wanted to reach out and touch her hand . . . give it a squeeze . . . or give her a long, long hug . . . but we were at a table at Starbucks. As it was, I was afraid we were being a little too public with our feelings.

Which made me think. “Hey, you know I’m going to love being at your place . . . seeing you every day . . . but we’re going to have to be careful.”

She sighed, but nodded. “I know.”

We both sighed, acknowledging this new reality . . . but then a big, goofy grins broke out on Julia’s face and one followed quickly on mine. There’s no doubt we were both excited by the prospect.

After a few seconds I sighed and said, “This is going to be so hard.”

She nodded again. “Yeah.”


	6. Chapter 6

That first morning I came out of the bathroom in just my robe as Julia was stepping out of her bedroom. She paused and slowly ran her eyes over me. Her face lit up. 

I’ll admit, it definitely affected me. I gave her a crooked smile and started to loosen the tie on my robe, fully intending on giving her a little thrill.

That’s when we heard Jenna call from the kitchen, “Mom, what have we got for lunch. I don’t see anything.”

I think both of us almost had coronaries. The kitchen was just at the end of the hallway where we were standing. 

I immediately cinched my belt up tight and scuttled into my room while Julia hustled down the hallway towards the kitchen so she could head off her daughter if need be. 

I normally wouldn’t have rushed getting dressed. I didn’t have to be to work for a couple of hours. I didn’t think it was fair, though, to leave Julia to manage our two daughters . . . because I had no doubts there’d be tensions between them.

When I got to the kitchen Sophie was leaning up against the wall, scowling, staring pointedly out the window. She was eating a piece of dry toast and ignoring both Jenna and Julia. 

Jenna was at the kitchen table eating some strawberries with yogurt, scowling too, with her whole body turned so she couldn’t even see Sophie in her periphery. I just shook my head and sighed.

I glanced over at Julia and she gave me a weak smile. They weren't exactly becoming BFF’s, but at least it looked like there hadn't been any hair pulling or slap fights between our two ‘lovely’ children.

I know I said I was going to play it cool . . . and I really did intend to do that . . . but it seemed like such a treat, waking in the morning and having Julia there. I couldn’t resist it. I walked over to her, gave her a one arm squeeze, and said, “Thank you again for letting us stay here.”

That got a little snort of disgust out of both of the girls. Well, at least they seemed to agree on something. It really felt like a bonding moment . . . not!

“I don’t know what Sophie likes for lunch, but help yourself to anything you can find,” Julia told me.

Sophie didn’t even turn to us, she just said – to the window, apparently – “Don’t bother. Just give me some cash and I can pick something up for myself.” Of course she used that ever so pleasant tone of hers . . . like she couldn’t even manage the effort to pretend she cared about the person she was talking to.

I noticed how Jenna’s head popped up when she heard Sophie, and how she shot he mother a pointed look . . . as if to say, “Hey, I didn’t know that was an option.”

It wasn’t, and I needed to make that perfectly clear. 

“When have I ever just given you money for your lunch?” I demanded, not at all gently. 

I wanting to make it perfectly clear. We had a new little ‘family’ group here, and I was sure Julia would agree that we needed to make sure we had well defined boundaries. I’d been through this shit before with my ex, where I’d tell Sophie something, and then he’d happily tell her the exact opposite – always taking the easy way out and refusing to be a responsible parent in any way. 

If not for the bimbo, I’m sure his total lack of support with Sophie would have eventually convinced me to throw his ass out.

I was feeling pissed just thinking about him . . . so I had to pause, take a deep breath, and push him from my mind.

I went to the fridge and opened it, looking around. Julia came up behind me . . . very close behind me . . . so her body was pressed against mine . . . which I found I liked very much.

She was giving me a quick run-down of what they had. I was having trouble focusing on her words, because I was so aware of her there so close to me. I thought maybe it was just me . . . until I felt her run a hand lightly up and down my thigh. I knew her body was blocking the girls, so they couldn’t see and had no idea. I almost let out a happy little sighed, though . . . which I guess might have given us away.

I gave my head a little shake and finally managed to get my brain back on the task at hand . . . lunch for Sophie. With Julia’s help we put something together. 

Sophie just huffed, said a, “Fine,” and stomped off toward the stairs to the basement. She muttered something about having to get ready and then disappeared. A second later Jenna was gone too.

I turned to Julia and gave her a weak smile. “Well that went wonderfully.”

She managed a real smile. “No blood, no fists thrown, not even too many nasty words . . . I’ll call that a win.”

That made me smile too. Maybe it hadn't been perfect, but it hadn't been a total disaster either . . . plus, I got to spend the time with Julia.

I couldn’t help giving her a big smile. I reached up and ran my hand gently over her cheek. She put her hand over mine and then turned her head and planted a kiss on the palm of my hand. 

We stood there for several seconds, just smiling at each other.

“This is nice,” she said softly.

“Very nice,” I agreed.

We shared a moment like that . . . and then I guess we both got a little nervous. I stepped away and glanced quickly around – towards the stairs to the basement and the hallway that led to the bedrooms. What had we said . . . we had to be careful? God that was going to be so hard.

Good thing we’d gotten chicken, though, because five seconds later Sophie came stomping up the stairs and a minute after that Jenna reappeared. 

Julia had agreed to drop the girls off at school. I was on pick-up duty. This seemed so much easier having someone to split tasks with. 

Julia rounded the two of them up and herded them out to her car. I was happy to see she seemed to have no problems prodding Sophie to get her going. 

“Have a good day,” I called to my daughter as she left. I would have liked to give her a hug – I bet Julia gave Jenna a hug before she left for school – but I had a pretty good idea how well that would go. I guess I’ve really lowered my expectations, because I felt almost ecstatic getting a tight-lipped little smile from Sophie, without even the usual eye roll.

After the two girls were out, Julia gave a quick glance back over her shoulder and reminded me what a real smile looked like. She had such a beautiful smile.

“See ya,” she said, and then was gone.

I stood there for a couple of seconds. I closed my eyes and just took in everything – my new surroundings, the whole different dynamic, with the two girls, and just being in someone else’s house . . . and, of course, the thrill of being here with Julia. There was good and bad – obviously – but at least for me, the good far outweighed the bad.

The front door suddenly opened, startling me. I opened my eyes and saw Julia there, striding towards me. She slipped an arm around me and without a moment’s hesitation gave me a deep, passionate kiss. When our lips finally parted she grinned at me.

“I don’t know where my head is this morning . . . I forgot my purse,” she said.

I grinned at her. “You forgot your purse? Really? And the girls bought that?”

She just shrugged. “Are you complaining?”

“Not even a little bit,” I whispered and pulled her lips to mine again.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been such a wonderful evening – well, if I focused on Julia and ignored our two daughters who were still doing their best to pretend the other didn’t exist.

When the two of them got into my car for the ride home from school, it was like an arctic chill had descended on my vehicle. Not a word was said . . . which I guess was probably better than it could have been.

At Julia’s place each of them headed for the sanctuary of their own bedrooms, leaving me there on my own. I knew Julia wouldn’t be off work for at least another hour, so I started poking around in the kitchen, thinking I should get a start on some dinner for us.

I took inventory of what I could find. Before I started anything, though, I headed down the hallway and knocked lightly on Jenna’s door. 

“Hey, Jenna, it’s me. Sorry to bug you.”

She opened the door and eyed me, almost suspiciously. I guess I was Sophie’s mom, so maybe she thought I was the enemy too. “Yeah?” was all she said. It wasn’t quite rude, but it wasn’t exactly warm and welcoming.

“Hey, I was just thinking I could get started on something for dinner. You know, it’s kind of the least I can do . . . with you and your mom being so generous . . . letting Sophie and me stay here.” 

At the mention of Sophie’s name, the corners of her lips made a noticeable downturn and her eyes seemed to harden. Oops, my mistake, I guess.

“But before I did anything, I wanted to know, do you like pasta? I see your mom has some chicken and I make a pretty decent chicken fettuccini . . . with a white sauce and lots of veggies and mushrooms. I just wasn’t sure if that was something you’d like . . . or if there’s something else you’d prefer?”

Jenna took a second, but then gave her head a little nod. “Yeah, that’d be cool. I like pasta.”

I gave her a warm smile. Any time I get more than a one word response from a teenager, I feel like it’s a win. 

“Okay, good. I’ll get going on that. Thank you,” I told her and then turned and headed back to the kitchen.

By the time Julia got home, the sauce was done and simmering. 

I greeted her at the door, took a quick look around to make sure all was clear, and then gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. 

“Mmm,” she whispered. “I could get used to coming home to this every day.”

“That would be nice,” I replied, and gave her another little kiss.

We took a few seconds, and then I quickly stepped back from her. I sighed, “It’d be even nicer if we didn’t have to worry about . . . .” I didn’t finish my sentence . . . I just glanced over my shoulder toward the basement stairs and the hallway to the bedrooms.

Julia gave a weary nod. “Yeah,” was all she said.

After a second I found myself grinning. “Maybe we could sending them off to a boarding school . . . you know, just for the rest of the school year.”

Julia looked at me, and then just shook her head. “Heidi, that’s not going to happen.” She had a tone she used when I was saying mean things about my daughter. It was odd how often she had to use it on me. Something for me to think about, I guess.

I lowered my eyes and nodded, acknowledging my bad. “I know . . . you’re right,” I said, and then grinning again added, “Boarding school would be way too expensive. We probably couldn’t swing that.”

She gave me a playful little swat on the shoulder. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” she said, but she was laughing.

We just grinned at each other for another second . . . and then she lifted her nose in the air. “What is that wonderful aroma I smell?” she asked. She gave me that gorgeous smile of hers. “Did you make dinner for me?” She seemed so pleased.

“Of course,” I told her, but then after a second added, “Well, I made it for everyone . . . .” I locked my eyes on hers and gave her a happy smile. “But mainly for you,” I said in a quiet voice.

She didn’t hesitate, even for a second. Julia pulled me into a big hug, and kissing me gently on the neck as she did.

“You are just so wonderful,” she whispered.

I grinned. “You’re just figuring that out?”

She gave me a little pinch on the bottom and I heard her mutter, “Brat.”

We were both smiling, though.

We stood there, holding each other, our eyes locked, both of us grinning like giddy school girls, apparently oblivious to any risks . . . and oblivious to our promise to ‘be cool’. 

Finally she released me. “I’m going to go change, and then I’ll be back.” She sounded so happy . . . which totally mirrored how I was feeling.

“Did you want me to put the pasta on, or would you rather have a glass of wine first?”

Her smile widened. “Oh, wine . . . definitely. We can eat in a bit. Okay?”

It sounded great to me.

I poured a couple of glasses of the wine I’d seen in the fridge and took them to the living room. 

I remember when we looked at this house. I’d loved the living room because it was so open and bright with the evening sun.

I found myself smiling, thinking back to that time when Julia and I were just getting to know each other. It had been a strange time . . . filled with such strange, unexpected feelings. They caught me off guard . . . and it took me a little while to understand them – exactly how deep they were – but soon I realized just how attracted I was to Julia. 

Honestly, I think it was harder for her. I’d actually had those feelings before – for another woman – even if it was a long time ago. For Julia, apparently it was a whole new experience. I was so happy, though, that she’d decided to take a chance and follow her heart. These last four months – since we’d shared our first kiss – had been truly amazing.

I felt so happy reminiscing about our relationship. And now here we were, living together.

Well, maybe it was only temporary, but I was going to enjoy it while I could.

I was sitting at the end of the sofa, waiting for Julia . . . when I found myself reconsidering. This was so wonderful, being with her like this. . . but we were taking chances . . . maybe too many chances . . . and when I actually stopped to think about it, it made me nervous.

So I moved to the big arm chair . . . still close, but far enough away that my hands – or my lips – wouldn’t get any ideas.

A minute later Julia appeared. She was wearing a tight fitting tank top that left a strip of her flat and very toned tummy bare and yoga pants. She looked amazing. I was reconsidering my choice of seats. I was thinking of planting myself right on her lap and trying to stick my tongue all the way down her throat.

Julia must have seen that hungry look in my eyes. She glanced down at herself, suddenly self-conscious. “Oh, Heidi, I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I . . . .”

I held up a hand to stop her. “Hey, no problem. Don’t worry about it. I’m an adult. I can handle it.”

But even as those reassuring words were leaving my mouth, I found myself running my eyes over Julia again . . . and imaging what was under that outfit of hers . . . not that it took all that much imagination.

I reluctantly dragged my eyes away from her and pointedly stared out the window at the street outside. Surely I could find something to distract myself!

“I can go put something else on . . . something baggy, maybe,” she offered.

I turned my eyes back to her. I could feel that twisted, slightly evil smile spread across my face. “I was actually thinking of you with less on . . . not more,” I said. Yeah, I was doing great at ‘playing it cool’.

Julia looked like she didn’t know whether to be pleased that she affected me so much, or deeply concerned. I did see her take a quick look around when I’d uttered my totally inappropriate words – well, inappropriate for the middle of the living room with two ‘innocent’ teenage lurking nearby.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then turned back to her. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. It’s just that . . . .” My eyes ran over her again – even though I tried to stop them . . . really! “. . . you look . . . amazing.”

It was true. Why not say it. 

Julia smiled, almost a little bashfully – which was unusual for her. I think she decided she was pleased with my reaction . . . even if we both realized how dangerous it was.

We did our best to move on. We sipped our wine and talked about our days . . . just like a ‘normal’ couple might do when they got home at the end of a day.

When we were done relaxing, I went to the kitchen to put the pasta on. Julia joined me, and lounged nearby, seeming to enjoy torturing me by showing off her amazing body.

When supper was ready I called the girl. Julia got Jenna to set the table, while she slipped off to her room and retuned with that baggy sweatshirt she’d threatened me with earlier. 

I understand, it wouldn’t do to have me leering at her while we ate. After Sophie’s inquisition the night of the fire, I realized I had no idea when she might pick up on something that I never would have ever expected. We had enough tension in the room without throwing this whole issue into the mix.

After the meal, Julia said to the girls, “Since Heidi cooked, I think it’s only fair if you two do the dishes.”

I smiled at her and nodded, in complete agreement. I liked how she was making an opportunity for the two of them to spend some time together and maybe work out whatever the issue was between them.

Of course my darling, Sophie, was having none of that. She was going to do everything in her power to avoid dealing with Jenna, apparently. 

She immediately said, “I’ll do the dishes tonight. She can do them tomorrow.” When she said the word ‘she’, she almost spat it out like it was something disgusting that had gotten into her mouth. Very helpful.

Before Julia or I could comment, Jenna gave a terse, “Fine.” She turned, marched down the hallway, and a second later we heard her door slam.

I thought I caught a satisfied little smile on Sophie’s lips. I gave her a stern, less-than-pleased look . . . but she just turned away and got to cleaning up the kitchen.

“Just let me know when you’re done and I can tell you where things go,” Julia offered. 

She turned to me and gave a little ‘I tried’ shrug. I responded with an appreciative smile. 

“I think I need another glass of wine,” I said, and Julia joined me.

She kind of surprised me when she said, “Hey Sophie, did you want a glass?”

Sophie turned around, looked at Julia a little wide-eyed, and then glanced at me.

I was taken off guard. I wasn’t sure . . . but then I thought, “God, she’s eighteen . . . it’s not like she’s never had anything to drink before . . . and maybe it is time I started treating her a little more like an adult.”

I glanced Julia’s way and then back to Sophie. “If you want a glass, that’s fine,” I said. 

The look in her eyes told me she was a little shocked by my response. Was I really that much of a prude?

Julia grabbed a glass and I poured the wine. Sophie was grinning as she raised her glass. I held mine up and gently touched it to hers. “Cheers,” I said.

As Sophie raised her glass to her lips, I added, “And you sip it, you don’t guzzle it.”

Sophie looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, “God, mom,” before taking a proper sip and then turning back to the dishes. Okay, maybe I was a prude.

Julia and I slipped away to the living room and spent the rest of the evening there, relaxing, watching a little TV, talking . . . mostly just quietly enjoying each other’s company. 

It was so wonderful . . . just being able to be there with her like that. Our time together had always been so special, mainly because there had never been enough of it. It was always so rushed . . . carved out of all the other things that we had happening in our lives. Now, to just be able to sit and relax, knowing that there was nothing that was going to pull us away . . . it was amazing.

At bed time, Jenna did actually come and give Julia a hug. I felt so jealous. 

After the dishes were done, Sophie had gone out for a couple of hours with one of her friends and then disappeared down to the basement. We hadn’t seen her since. So no hug for her mom . . . no surprise.

I sighed, feeling a little sad about it. Definitely something I should work on.

Julia and I stayed up a little later, but then reluctantly decided we needed to sleep too. We shared a warm embrace and a long, passionate kiss.

“I’ll see you . . . in the morning,” she said. Her smile grew as she said that last part.

I was smiling too. I loved the idea that when I woke up, she’d be here. “Good night,” I said and headed off to my room


	8. Chapter 8

“I really miss you. This sucks. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.” I sent the text.

I was sitting on the bed, feeling very . . . restless. Okay, let’s be honest, I was horny too . . . and frustrated . . . knowing Julia was just across the hallway from me. She was so damn close!

And, of course, I still kept picturing her in the tight tank top and yoga pants. That really wasn’t helping.

“I know,” she sent back, with a sad face emoji.

It had been an hour since we’d parted . . . out in the living room . . . and neither of us was too thrilled.

Julia had texted me less than ten minutes after I crawled into my bed. We’d had this virtual conversation going ever since. I considered taking a few naughty pictures and sending them . . . but I was a little self conscious . . . and besides, who wanted pictures like that floating around out there. What if we got hacked . . . or if one of our daughters grabbed our phones and saw them.

Just the thought of that almost made my heart seize up. That would be horrifying. I didn’t know how I’d ever face Sophie again if she saw something like that. And still . . . I was tempted!

“Maybe I could come over . . . just for a little while,” I typed. I paused . . . started to erase it, and then typed it again and quickly sent it.

My heart was beating faster as I waited. I knew it was stupid . . . totally insane. It was exactly the kind of thing we’d said we couldn’t do. We’d both agreed. So why was I suggesting it? Why was I being so weak?

I blamed Julia . . . and her yoga pants . . . because I’m sure it wasn’t just because I lack will power.

It seemed like it took forever. Finally Julia texted back. “What if Jenna hears us?”

Well, she didn’t say, ‘no’. I felt my excitement growing.

“We’re friends. We’re allowed to hang out and talk,” I shot back. I was in full rationalization mode.

“So you just want to talk?” she responded. 

I hate that its impossible to read tone in a text. Was Julia disappointed, thinking that talking might be all I wanted to do . . . or was she more being skeptical . . . because she knew me . . . and she’d seen the way I was looking at her when she was in those yoga pants.

“If Jenna’s anything like Sophie, and she’s still awake, she probably has her air pods in. She won’t hear a thing.” I hoped.

“And it’s not like I’m the noisy one,” I thought to myself. That was definitely Julia . . . not that I minded.

When Julia didn’t immediately reply, I added, “I’ll behave. I promise. And only for a little while.”

I waited . . . until Julia’s text finally arrived. It simply said, “K.”

Now I was almost giddy with excitement. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was a cheap cotton pajama set that I’d picked up after the fire.

I thought about this satiny jade green negligee I had . . . or the lacy little black one. I looked so good in either of them . . . and I was sure Julia would be thrilled . . . except both of them were in the landfill, along with everything else that had been in my dresser. 

The dresser had been a victim of the fire, or the smoke, or the over-zealous firefighters who apparently had taken no chances and thoroughly doused everything in my room. My entire wardrobe had been almost a complete write-off.

I sighed . . . and then turned my mind back to the lovely Julia across the hall. “What if I dropped my robe and I was naked underneath?” I thought, and grinned just imagining Julia’s response.

“What if you run into Jenna in the hallway, and you’re naked?” that last part of my brain that was thinking sort of rationally asked. Okay, maybe she couldn’t tell I was naked under my robe . . . but how awkward and embarrassing would I still feel?

I sighed and closed my eyes. Okay, boring pajamas it was . . . but at least I’d get to see Julia.

I slipped on my robe and carefully opened my door . . . in case Jenna was around. Nothing suspicious about that. 

The hallway was empty, though, so I quickly tiptoed across to Julia’s door. I was going to knock, but then decided why make the extra noise. I opened the door quickly and hurried in, bumping right into Julia who was standing just inside.

Both of us let out little cries of surprise, and then we hushed each other, which actually just made more noise. It would have been a bit comical if we weren't so worried about being caught.

Julia quickly closed the door and the two of us stood there, silently, listening. The house remained silent though. I think we both let out a sigh of relief . . . before we turned to each other and grinned like two kids getting away with something naughty.

I just stared at her face, feeling so happy to be here with her. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a long, slow, passionate kiss. “This is so nice,” I whispered as our lips parted.

Julia beamed at me, so I had no doubts she felt the same way. She took my hand and led me to her bed. I let my robe drop to the floor and climbed in beside her.

We snuggled together and shared another kiss. We just held each other for a few minutes, enjoying this opportunity to be together. It was so nice after a whole evening of having to behave ourselves. It was hard not being able to touch her whenever I wanted . . . and I wanted to all the time. We were a couple who very much liked the physical contact.

Apparently Julia got bored with just the snuggling, because I felt her run her hand up and down my bare thigh and then over my bottom. I certainly didn’t complain. 

She ran her fingers lightly up and down my back. I don’t know why, but I loved it when she did that. I loved it even more when her fingers were on my bare skin . . . so I squirmed away from her just enough to peel my top off. I went to throw it, but paused. 

“You don’t have any heaters or anything, do you?” I asked softly. No point repeating that epic mistake.

She shook her head, so I flung my top over my shoulder and it landed God knows where. Of course than it occurred to me I’d need to find that later . . . because I wasn’t here for the full night. Oops. Well, a problem for another time.

Before I snuggled back against her, I hooked my fingers in her top and peeled it off too. She didn’t exactly resist me. Now when we snuggled, it was her bare skin against mine. That was so much better.

“You can do that thing some more . . . on my back . . . with your fingers,” I whispered.

“What, this?” she said and traced her fingertips ever so lightly up my spine. 

It sent a shiver through me and I actually sighed. God that felt so good.

We lay there kissing, holding each other, and letting our hands explore. For a change, we didn’t feel rushed and it was wonderful. 

I mean, when we were wild and frantic and passionate, it was great – really great! But this was different . . . and amazing in it’s own way. 

Julia worked out religiously – I wished I could convince myself to do the same – but with her it really showed. As I ran my hands over her legs and her lovely bottom, I could feel how incredibly firm they were. I liked it.

I let my hand run up her body . . . over the curve of her hips and her flat stomach . . . until they found one of her lovely, firm breasts. I caressed it softly and squeezed it . . . and then gave her nipple a little pinch.

Julia’s nipples are always so sensitive . . . and I just loved it. When she let out a loud moan – like I kind of knew she would – I smiled . . . and then shushed her. 

“Quiet . . . you don’t want anyone to hear us,” I whispered.

“It’s totally your fault. You know what I’m like,” she whispered back.

“I didn’t . . . ,” I started to respond, but she gave me a loud, “Shh!” I gave her a, “Shh,” right back.

We both lay there, still and silent for a few seconds, listening . . . but the house remained quiet. 

When we were certain no one had heard us, Julia whispered again, “That was totally your fault and you know it.”

I just giggled and ran my finger lightly around her nipple. 

She gave me a hard look . . . daring me to do it again . . . and then started giggling too. “You are such a brat,” she muttered. It seemed that was becoming her pet name for me.

I continued caressing her breast and just gently teasing her nipple. After a few minutes I worked my way down her body, trailing soft little kisses all over her lovely boobs. I wrapped my mouth around her nipple and gently ran my tongue around it and over it. I maybe wanted to be a little more wild . . . but I was behaving myself.

I glanced up and could see Julia biting her lip as she tried to keep herself to only soft sighs.

She loved when I played with her boobs . . . and as surprising as I found it . . . I loved it too. I never would have dreamed that I’d get such a thrill out of a pair of breasts, but there was no denying it.

After a while I made my way back up to her lips and we kissed. 

“Mmm, that felt so nice,” Julia sighed. 

It put a smile on my face knowing how much she liked what I did. Not that I generally had any doubts. Like I said, Julia was typically very vocal when she was enjoying herself. The kind of ‘vocal’ that made it clear to both of us that we could never go further than we had with the girls in the house. That was too bad . . . but it was reality. 

So we just held each other . . . and kissed . . . and lightly caressed . . . and it was wonderful.


	9. Chapter 9

I felt a little tired when I got up – I’d stayed with Julia until almost one, and then reluctantly snuck back to my own room. As far as we could tell, no one had heard us.

When I finally caught sight of Julia in the morning, sitting in the kitchen, my heart started racing and I felt a little breathless. It was so hard to keep that big, adoring smile off my face. That definitely would have told anyone who saw it exactly what I was feelings for her.

I saw her shooting me little smiles too as she tried to keep up a conversation with Jenna about upcoming school events. Track was starting next week and Jenna planned to sign up for it. Julia – good mother that she was – was encouraging her. 

Jenna was athletic, like her mom. Sophie and I . . . not so much. I liked to say we were more brains than brawn . . . which Julia just laughed at.

Sophie was once again ignoring everybody – lucky for me, I guess – so she wasn’t picking up on anything happening between me and Julia. 

I looked at her as she stared out the window . . . and then I looked at Jenna and Julia chatting like normal people. I felt bad . . . and I knew it was mainly my fault that things with my daughter had gotten to where they were.

I walked over to her and placed a hand lightly on her shoulder.

Her head spun around, like she was shocked by the sudden contact.

I smiled at her and said, “Most of your clothes should be done at the cleaners today. I’ll make sure I pick them up, so you’ll have them back tonight.”

She gave me a little nod. She almost looked uncertain, like perhaps she wasn’t use to me being this way. Maybe she wasn’t . . . which kind of made my heart ache. 

I gave a little laugh and said, “You’re so lucky. Most of your stuff survived. I’m living in the same three outfits – and those ugly sweats – until I get out shopping.”

Sophie managed a little smile. “That’s not so bad. I wouldn’t mind going out and getting a whole new wardrobe. Especially if someone else was paying for it.”

I grinned. “When you say it that way, you’re right. It does sound kind of good.”

Then I sighed and gave her a mock-weary smile. “But then I think about actually going out and doing the shopping, and trying to find clothes I like. My feet start aching just thinking about it.”

Sophie was looking at me, like she wasn’t exactly sure how to take me. Maybe it had been a while since I’d been more lighthearted with her. Obviously it had been way too long.

I continued on. “If only I had someone to help me . . . you know, someone who actually liked shopping for clothes. Someone who wasn’t afraid to give me her opinions . . . and who could help me update my wardrobe a bit.” I was still doing my best to sound distraught at the very prospects of it all. 

I grinned and shot Sophie a sideways little glance. “Someone who – possibly – might even end up with a few new things for herself if she helps out.”

I think I actually caught a little smile creep onto Sophie’s face before she quickly wiped it away. She did her eye roll – but there didn’t seem to be the usual attitude with it – and said, “God, mom, if you want me to help you, all you have to do is ask.”

I thought I caught a little hint of a laughter in her voice. I was amazed.

I glanced over and caught Julia watching me. Jenna had gone to her room, so she didn’t have to worry about her. She gave me a little nod and a smile.

I had no idea, but maybe being around Julia and Jenna – who seemed to have a normal, caring relationship – was having a positive effect on Sophie and me. I really didn’t know the reason, but this little conversation was the first I could remember us having in forever when we weren't both being miserable . . . and it felt so much better.

I found myself smiling. I put my hand on Sophie’s arm and gave it a little squeeze. “We’ll talk,” I said, and I made sure I kept my eyes firmly on hers, so she could see I really meant it. 

I gave her arm another squeeze and said quietly, “You better get ready for school.” I glanced over as I added, “I think Julia’s driving you again.”

Julia smiled at me and Sophie, nodded and said, “Yep . . . and we should be leaving in ten minutes.”

Sophie smiled at me – it was kind of an uncertain little smile, like she was still trying to get her head around my unusual behaviour – but then she actually gave my hand a little squeeze before she turned and headed for the basement stairs.

When she was gone, Julia came over, wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug. “That was nice,” she said.

I squeezed her tightly and nodded. “Yeah, it really was.”

I decided this was really nice too. I just stood there, holding Julia and smiling up at her. The smile she gave me back sent my heart racing and took my breath away . . . again. I tilted my head and was just leaning forward to kiss her when we heard Jenna’s door down the hall open.

Heart attack time! We both jumped back and glanced around awkwardly, trying our best to look innocent. I think we failed because as soon as Jenna walked into the room she stopped and stared – first at her mom, then at me . . . and then back to her mom.

I think she was experiencing that moment that all mom’s have . . . when you walk into a room and can immediately tell – just by the look of the kids – that they were up to something. Apparently Julia and I were no better at acting innocent.

Jenna eyed us for a very long and uncomfortable few seconds . . . and then finally said, “Are we going now?”

I think Julia let out a sigh of relief – I wasn’t looking at her so I couldn’t tell. I know I sure did.

“Um, we have to wait for Sophie, then we can go,” she said . . . and her voice sounded reasonably normal.

The mention of Sophie’s name drew an annoyed little huff from Jenna. She slouched down on a chair, pulled out her phone, and began scrolling.

Julia glanced my way and mouthed a, “Sorry.”

I just shrugged. I guess at some point us adults were going to have butt into our kids lives and figure out exactly what was the unforgivable sin that one or the other of them had committed. The tension between the two girls was the one thing making this new living arrangement less that perfect. 

Okay, maybe a tunnel from my room to Julia’s . . . and her room being totally soundproofed might be necessary to make everything absolutely perfect . . . but it was pretty damn good just living here with her.

Sophie came up from her basement and they all started getting ready to go.

“Oh, by the way,” I called as they did. I glanced between Sophie and Julia. “I’m taking some clients out tonight . . . we’re doing a few showings. I’ve got to meet them at 6:00 so I might need to go before supper time.”

“What, so no yummy pasta waiting for me when I get home. That’s horrible,” Julia moaned with mock despair.

It even got a little smile out of Sophie.

Julia’s frown quickly turned to a smile. “Thanks for letting us know. Don’t worry, we’ll manage, I’m sure.”

She dug her keys out of her purse, clicked the fob to unlock the doors, and said, “Why don’t you girls go climb in. I’ll be right there.”

Jenna and Sophie headed for the door. Before Sophie got there I called, “Have a good day. I’ll see you later.”

Sophie glanced back, gave me a tight lipped little smile (hey, I’d take it), and actually responded, saying, “Yeah, you too.” Then she turned and was gone.

Julia and I stood there and watched them go. When they were safely in the car she turned to me, slipped her arms around me and we shared a long, lovely kiss. “You have a really good day,” she whispered in my ear as she kissed my neck and then returned her lips to mine.

“Mmm, you too,” I told her as we shared one more deep, passionate kiss. 

My eyes never left her as she turned to go. She paused at the door and turned back to me. Julia gave me a gorgeous smile and said, “Later, gorgeous.” 

I might have blushed just a little. I never really thought of myself as ‘gorgeous’, and the way Julia said it – with such intensity – well, it really affected me.

I half wanted to run to her, wrap her in my arms again and give her the kind of kiss that would make her knees weak.

Of course that wasn’t going to happen . . . with her standing right there where all the world – including our two daughters – could see her.

So I just gave her my biggest smile and a little wave and said, “Later. Have a good day.”

We just smiled at each other another second, before I sighed and reluctantly said, “You’d better go.”

She nodded but as she started to turn, I added, “And you’d better wipe that smile off your face or the girls are going to totally know something’s up.”

She laughed lightly, gave me a wave and was gone.

I just stood there, thinking that my life was pretty wonderful.


	10. Chapter 10

The text had come just after ten. “So, if you’re working late tonight, does that mean you’re coming home from the office early?”

I guess I didn’t have a clue why Julia was asking . . . or really, what she was asking, so I responded, “I’m at the office now, but I’ll probably leave early. I have to stop and get Sophie’s clothes at the cleaners. Did you need me to pick something up?” I was more than happy to help out.

After a couple of seconds she texted back, “Any chance you’ll be home by noon?”

I looked at her text and felt puzzled . . . until the next one arrived, saying, “Because today I ‘forgot’ my lunch, so I thought maybe I’d head home to grab it . . . in our nice, EMPTY home . . . .”

I’m going to say it’s because I was distracted by the listing I was working on, but it took me a couple of second . . . and then I almost gasped out loud. I turned from my work and immediately started typing on my phone. “I can be home at noon . . . or even earlier.”

“I’ve got a meeting until 11:30 and then it should take about 15 minutes to get home.”

I told her I’d be there – like there was any doubt. I mean, being around Julia all the time, getting to sneak in the odd hug and kiss, and even spending a few hours together – quietly – in her bed was so wonderful. It really was like a dream come true for me.

But we – both of us – were the kind of people who had needs . . . lots of needs . . . carnal needs. And these needs were only made worse by us being around each other so much . . . yet having no opportunities to satisfy these needs. I know it was making me just a little crazy . . . so no surprise, I jumped at the chance.

I made my excuses at work and was back to the house by 11:30 . . . just in case Julia got away early.

I looked around, feeling a little nervous, and even called out to make sure one of the girls hadn't come home from school early for some reason. How awkward would that be?

I wandered into Julia’s room to wait . . . and then decided to wait in bed . . . naked. I felt so excited – and impatient – waiting for her. It seemed to take forever . . . time crawls when you’re in bed, naked, waiting for you lover to get there and rock your world . . . but just before noon I heard the front door open and Julia call out my name.

I found myself grinning. “In here,” I called back. I felt that usual tingle of excitement I had whenever Julia and I got together for some . . . fun.

Julia was moving briskly when she entered the bedroom. She quickly swung the door shut behind her and turned to me.

I grinned at her, and flung back the covers so she could see my naked body. 

A deep hunger shone in her eyes as she stared at me. I loved it.

I ran a teasing finger around one of my nipples before I looked up at her and smiled. “Are you just going to stand there and watch?” I asked playfully.

Julia had her clothes off in a second – there was no slow, seductive striptease – and literally jumped into the bed to join me. She took my hand, which was still on my own breast, kissed it, and guided it to one of hers. Then her lips found mine, her tongue filled my mouth, and we shared a long, hungry kiss that went on and on.

Her hands raced over my body – no gently stroking my back now . . . not that I was complaining. She buried her face in my neck and kissed it ferociously while she roughly squeezed one of my breasts and pinched my nipple. She could be so wild when she was aroused . . . and I had a feeling she was feeling very aroused.

I laid my head back and softly moaned . . . and let her have her way. I did have to push her away from my neck, though. I was afraid she was getting close to leaving a noticeable mark that I’d no doubt have to explain to my occasionally observant daughter.

I rolled onto my back and guided her lips to my chest . . . and then just enjoyed. 

Julia attacked my breasts, squeezing them, kneading them, stroking them . . . doing all she could to drive me crazy. Her lips found one of my nipples and she sucked it hard while her tongue lashed it. It felt so amazing. 

I arched my back, pushing my nipple up to her, and moaned loudly . . . well, loud for me. I wove my fingers through her silky hair and held her head firmly, so she couldn’t escape . . . as if she was trying to!

I found myself watching her as she assaulted one aching nipple and then the other. It was so arousing, seeing how intense, how totally consumed she was whenever she was having way with me. I sometimes suspected she was psychic, because she seemed to be able to read my mind and know exactly what to do to drive me wild.

One of her hands left my breasts . . . and I would have complained . . . except I felt it sliding across my stomach, downward . . . and I knew too well it’s destination.

A low moan escaped my lips and my legs developed a mind of their own and spread wide in anticipation.


	11. Chapter 11

I lay with an arm draped over top of Julia, my head on her chest listening to the soft beating of her heart. We’d thrown the covers off long ago. I think we both welcomed the coolness of the air.

She was still breathing hard – although she’d already calmed a bit – and her eyes remained closed. I gently caressed one of her breasts, occasionally running a finger over her nipple, just to get that little sigh I knew it would draw. I planted little kisses along her shoulder until I finally made my way to her lips, and the kissed them, just lightly.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself,” I said, but there was nothing in my tone that would make you think I had any doubts. Like I said, Julia was very . . . vocal . . . and definitely let you know when she was having ‘fun’.

She finally opened her eyes, looked at me, and gave me a little laugh. “Oh, you know I did,” she sighed, and then gave me a huge smile . . . before she pulled me to her and kissed me.

“That was definitely amazing,” she whispered when our lips parted.

I couldn’t help smiling. Hey, who doesn’t like to hear such praise from her lover. I liked that just about as much as I liked to hear her screaming out like she’s trying to get someone’s attention from across the street. 

God, there was no way I could ever do this with Julia if the girls were in the house. There’s no place they could be that they wouldn’t hear her, I was convinced.

Almost as if she could read my thoughts – see, I told you she was psychic – Julie said, “Hey, I like to show my enthusiasm. With you, sometimes I wonder if your not getting distracted . . . probably thinking about work.” 

She was teasing, I knew. We’d had versions of this conversation before.

So I gave her a kiss and said, “You know I love everything you do for me.” I grinned before I added, “But if you’re really concerned, I’ll let you try again . . . only take it nice and slow this time.”

Julia laughed and I joined her. I pulled her to me and kissed her again. That’s when she glanced over me and saw the clock. 

“Oh shit, is it that late?” she exclaimed. 

I turned and saw it was almost twenty past one. We’d definitely lost track of time . . . not that I was complaining. 

“I’ve got to get going. I’m going to be so late.” She almost made it sound like an apology.

I smiled at her as she climbed out of bed and said, “I’m just happy you ‘forgot’ your lunch . . . though you do seem to be forgetting a few things these days. First your purse, and then this. Should I be concerned about you?”

Julia laughed as she pulled on her panties and grabbed up her bra. “Are you complaining?” she demanded.

“Not me,” I said with a grin. “I think you should consider forgetting your lunch every day.”

“God, I’d so love that, but I think I’d get fired in a week for missing so much work.”

I gave her a little pout and said, “But I’m sure I’m worth it, right?” I held it for a second, before I started giggling. It was amazing how childish I could act around Julia sometimes . . . and yet it seem such a natural part of us.

Julia, like always, just laughed at me. “It’s bad enough . . . people at work are already commenting on how happy I seem these days. She locked her eyes on mine before she added, “Especially since you moved in.”

She paused for a second before she continued. “And after this, when they see the grin I’ll probably have on my face all afternoon . . . well, they’ll really be wondering.”

Now I laughed . . . but it occurred to me that I’d had more than one person at work recently make a comment on my mood too. 

One of my coworkers had even said, just a couple of days ago, “I’m so amazed, even after that fire . . . you’re still so cheery. You’re a real ray of sunshine, Heidi.”

I wondered if any of them were speculating on the reasons for my happiness. I glanced across the room as Julia finished dressing. I doubted that any of my coworkers would ever in a million years guess the actual source of my joy. And that was fine . . . I guess. Right at this moment, I actually wasn’t all that sure.

Julia headed into the bathroom to straighten her hair and touch up her make up. I loved running my fingers through her hair, so I always made a huge mess of it . . . but I wasn’t going to apologize for that.

A minute later she came out, gave me a sad smile, and said, “I’ve got to get going.”

I crawled out of bed – still naked – and walked slowly over to her. I loved the way she watched me as I crossed the room . . . like maybe, if I really tried, I could convince her to go for another round of fun.

I knew she had to get back, though . . . so I just wrapped my arms around her, gave her a long, passionate kiss, and said, “Okay . . . I’ll see you later.”

I had planned to just let her go . . .but I changed my mind. Instead, I took her hand and walked her out, through the house. It felt kind of naughty, walking around with no clothes on. I got the impression that Julia kind of like it, though. 

I found I did too. It was kind of amazing, really. I mean, look at me – someone who’d always been a little self-conscious about my body – flaunting it like this . . . and enjoying it. I totally blamed Julia . . . not that I was complaining.

We stopped just inside the front door and shared another kiss. “See you,” I told her. “Have a good afternoon . . . and be sure you think of me . . . just like this.” I grinned as I stepped back and held my hands out, as if I were presenting my naked body to her.

Julia grinned back. “Oh, I definitely will.” She took another long look and then mumbled, loud enough so I could easily hear her, “I don’t know how I’m ever going to get any work done this afternoon.”

I opened the door for her and hid behind it, just sticking my head out so I could watch her go. I was having fun being naked for Julia, but I wasn’t a total exhibitionist.

“Oh, don’t forget, I’m working tonight. Not sure when I’ll be home,” I called. 

She nodded and waved, and then she was gone.

I watched the car disappear, and then sighed and closed the door. I felt so happy . . . euphoric . . . almost giddy. And I knew exactly what was making me feel that way. Julia. Without a doubt.

I found myself grinning like an idiot thinking about her. “God, you’ve got it bad,” I mumbled to myself, and then made my way back to Julia’s room to find my clothes.


	12. Chapter 12

It was almost nine when I got home. I’d shown my clients five places . . . and they liked them all . . . kind of. I guess I should say at least one of them liked each place . . . but there wasn’t one that both of them agreed on.

I’m not generally one to judge, but I had some concerns that this couple wasn’t going to make it. They’d told me they’d been married almost five years, but there was just something in the way they talked to each other sometimes, and the less than endearing looks they sometimes shared. I just had a feeling . . . not that it was my place to comment.

So I’d told them to discuss what they’d seen, maybe talk to each other about what they thought were the most important features for them, and then told them I’d call tomorrow so we could make a plan for moving forward. That wasn’t necessarily a call I was looking forward to.

But at least I was home . . . well, technically, it was Julia and Jenna’s home and I was just a guest. But already, I felt this welcoming aura when I entered, that made me look forward to it, and that seemed to chase away whatever stress I’d built up during the day . . . so it kind of felt like home to me.

Of course maybe all of that was just from the prospect of seeing Julia, because as soon as I entered the living room and saw her, my heart seemed to skip a beat and I felt that giddy, ridiculously happy feeling filling me up.

Julia looked up immediately and smiled at me. We just stared at each other for a moment . . . until I suddenly realized Jenna was sitting right there beside her. 

I think my heart skipped a beat again, but for a completely different reason. It seemed to dawned on Julia at about the same time, because she lost her smile and nervously glanced at her daughter.

Luckily for us, Jenna had her head down, staring at her phone, texting. She looked up, though, and found both me and her mother nervously watching at her. Her eyes swung between us. I think, once again, she sensed something was going on, but she had no clue what.

So, naturally, she said, “What?” as she continued to turn from one of us to the other.

“Oh . . . I . . . I was just going to ask if you liked your supper.” It was a little scary how good I was getting at coming up with these lies. Was it any wonder Sophie seemed to have no problem lying right to my face. It seemed clear it was a talent she inherited from her mom.

Jenna gave a little smile – like maybe she didn’t 100% believe me – and said, “Yeah, it was good. You can make that again some time for sure.”

I’d put together all the ingredients for burrito bowls before I’d left – I’d even talked Sophie into helping me with only minimal complaining or attitude – and then had left them together with instructions before I took off for my appointment.

“It was very good. You really didn’t have to, you know . . . but it was a nice surprise that supper was all ready when I got home.” Julia was smiling at me again . . . which, of course, I liked.

“And Sophie was great. She got the beef reheated and had everything laid out so we could make our own bowls, just the way we liked it. It was wonderful.”

I noticed that as soon as Julia said the word ‘Sophie’, Jenna’s smile turned to a distinct frown and she lowered her eyes to her phone again.

“What the hell’s up with those two?” I asked myself for the millionth time. I decided I’d mention it to Julia again. Maybe if we both tried, we could get at least one of them to spill the beans and tell us what the issue was. It was really starting to annoy me.

“You look like you’ve had a long day. Did you want a glass of wine?” Julia asked.

I nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah. That would be nice.”

Julia rose and said, “Well, you go change into something more comfortable and I’ll get you a glass.”

I tried – well, sort of – but I couldn’t keep the big smile off my face.

Julia and I left the living room, and as soon as we were around the corner – out of sight of Jenna – I paused and Julia wrapped her arms around me. She pulled me to her and gave me a big, wonderful hug.

What did I say about all my stress and worries evaporating as soon as I came into this house. Well, they were definitely all gone now. The only thing in my mind now was happy thoughts of this woman . . . and how lucky I was. I squeezed her tight. Honestly, I didn’t ever want to let go.

My heart took another shock when I heard Jenna behind me clear her throat and say, “Uh, mom . . . .”

I felt Julia tense, and then she looked up and said, “Hey, sweetie.”

I was impressed that she managed to keep her voice casual. I felt lucky Jenna couldn’t see my face, because this time I think she would have caught a look of utter panic in my eyes.

Julia let go and stepped around me so she was in front of Jenna, before she asked, “Hey, what’s up.”

I tried to be as casual as Julia . . . as I slunk down the hallway to my room to change. 

As I went I heard Julia softly tell Jenna, “She’s had a rough week, you know . . . so I thought she could use a hug.”

I felt even more horrible . . . that Julia was having to lie to her daughter too. I just couldn’t picture the alternative, though.

I took my time, but when I got back Julia was standing in the kitchen – waiting for me I assumed – with a glass of wine for me and one for herself.

I quickly glanced towards the living room and then quietly asked, “So, is she . . . ?” I didn’t really know how to ask it.

Julia dropped her eyes and bit her lip. She was obviously considering my question. Finally she looked up at me. She didn’t look overly happy, but she said, “I don’t think she . . . .” She wasn’t any better at framing it than I was.

I put my hand on hers and gave it a squeeze. I held her eyes with mine as I spoke, so she'd see just how conflicted I was. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to . . . we shouldn’t have to lie to our daughters. It’s . . . .”

I sort of trailed off, but Julia picked up on my sentiment. “It’s awful . . . I feel like shit doing it.”

I nodded. I completely understood. “What . . . what should we do?” There was no hiding the uncertainty or the nervousness in my voice. It wasn’t an easy question, obviously.

Julia just sighed and gave her head a weary shake. “I really don’t know.”

She glanced towards the living room. “Why don’t we talk about this later,” she suggested. A small smile crept onto her face. “You are planning on coming by tonight, aren’t you?”

I couldn’t help smiling too. “I think I can arrange that,” I told her.

We stood there smiling at each other for another minute, and then I gave her hand a little tug and led her to the living room, so we could keep up our charade.


	13. Chapter 13

I’d laid there with Julia, just holding her, and enjoying the warmth of her body against mine. I was certain our noon time fun had helped, because I didn’t feel those strong, pent up urges that had filled me the previous night.

We spent most of our time talking softly, about whatever was going on between Sophie and Jenna . . . and about us. We didn’t come to any conclusions – on either topic – but we both agreed that we didn’t enjoy lying to our daughters. And we admitted – to ourselves and to each other – that as scary as it might sound, at some point we’d probably have to tell the girls about us.

Neither of us had a clue how our daughters would take it. You know . . . “Surprise! Your mom’s a lesbian . . . and we’ve been living with her girlfriend for the last week.” I got a knot in my stomach just thinking about it . . . and I admitted to Julia that I had no idea how to even approach the topic with Sophie. She already had one parent she despised. I didn’t want her feeling the same way about me.

Julia tried to comfort me, but she was just as uncertain as I was about the whole thing. 

Apparently at some point we drifted off. I was a little shocked when Julia woke me up and I saw it was just after five a.m.

“Shit,” I said, immediately awake. 

“Yeah, shit,” she agreed She looked a little alarmed that this had happened. “We’ve got to be more careful,” she said, stating the obvious. I just nodded as I fumbled around, looking for my clothes on the floor.

When I was dressed, we shared a long kiss, and then I snuck back to my room. I was so terrified that Jenna or Sophie would see me . . . but I think the only time those girls saw five a.m. was if they stayed up that late with their friends.

I was happy that neither of the girls made any comments during breakfast the next morning. It looked like we were in the clear . . . although I was worried that maybe we were getting a little too relaxed and comfortable, and that it might eventually blow up on us.

Which, of course, led me back to the conversation Julia and I had had the night before. I looked at Sophie, and tried to imagine sitting her down and telling her . . . that I was dating . . . Julia. It made me tense and my stomach knot up just thinking about it . . . and I still had no idea how Sophie might react to the news.

Unfortunately, given our situation, I couldn’t kind of ease her into it. At any other time, I might go out on a date and then tell her “I had dinner with a friend,”. . . and let her see how excited and happy it made me. That way she’d at least know something was going on . . . and the whole thing wouldn’t be a shock when I broke it to her who the ‘friend’ was. Okay, the ‘who’ still might be a bit of a shock in a case like this.

But that whole scenario would be a little hard to pull off, given that we were already living with Julia.

“Mom!” 

I looked up to see Sophie staring at me. When I glanced around I saw Julia and Jenna looking my way too. 

I realized I’d been so lost in my jumbled thoughts that I hadn't even heard Sophie trying to talk to me.

I gave her a weak smile and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know where my mind was. What is it?”

“I was trying to tell you know that me and Teagan and Mya were going to the movies tomorrow night . . . and it doesn’t start until 9:15 . . . so I might be a little late getting home.”

I looked at her. There was nothing about her that told me she was lying . . . but I’d been burned before. I opened my mouth to . . . well, interrogate her, I guess . . . and then paused. Teagan and Mya were good kids – not partiers, as far as I knew. And let’s be honest, Sophie was generally a pretty good kid too . . . in spite of a few little lapses.

So I casually asked, “Is Teagan driving?” I knew she had a car – which was her most prized possession – and I was certain she’d never do anything to risk it. Besides, I was more comfortable if I knew they had a safe way to get home after the movie, given it wouldn’t end until late.

Sophie nodded and said, “Yeah.”

I couldn’t help notice how tense she was, like she was preparing herself for an argument. Was I really that bad? I mean, I know I was protective – she was my daughter – but I didn’t think I was totally over the top.

She almost seemed shocked, though, when I said, “Yeah, sure. Thanks for letting me know. Have fun.”

She just stared at me for a second . . . until I added, “And . . . .” She tensed again, her face already forming a scowl, and I could see her warming up for a ‘here we go’ eye roll.

“And remember to be quiet when you get home,” I said. “It’s not just me . . . I’ll be listening for you no matter what time you get in . . . but you don’t need to disturb Julia or Jenna if they’re trying to sleep.”

It surprised her so much that she almost looked confused. I struggled to keep the smile off my face. That obviously wasn’t what she’d been expecting.

It took her a second before she said, “Yeah . . . yeah, I will . . . for sure.” She almost looked bashful for a moment, before she added a quiet, “Thanks.”

I smiled and nodded. “So, do I even want to know what movie you’re going to see?” I tried to keep my voice light and almost playful.

Sophie actually grinned at me. “Probably not.” 

I just nodded – even though I was curious – and said, “Okay. You girls have fun.”

I glanced up at the big clock on the wall. “Hey, you’d better get going. You’ve got to be leaving for school pretty quick.”

Sophie headed off down the stairs and a second later Jenna headed towards her room.

Julia immediately came over to me and gave me a hug. “That was nice,” she said.

I looked up at her and smiled. “Apparently I was a total bitch before I moved in here,” I joked . . . sort of.

Julia grinned. “Then I guess it’s pretty obvious, I’ve been a good influence on you.”

I smiled and gave her a quick little kiss. “Yes, you definitely have.”

We shared a smile for another second or two, and then stepped away from each other. I think we both realized we’d had enough close calls in the last couple of days. 

One thing we’d both agreed on when we’d discussed it the previous night . . . if the girls were going to find out about us, we wanted it to be because we told them, and not because they somehow discovered it on their own. We both agreed that wouldn’t be good. 

In spite of that, we clearly had no plan yet for informing them. I felt that knot in my stomach again just thinking about it.

Julia rounded up the girls and sent them out to the car, just saying, “I need to talk to Heidi for a second.”

As soon as they were gone, I slipped my arms around her, pulled her to me and gave her a kiss. I could feel my face light up, looking at her like this, feeling her against me, thrilling at the thought that I’d get to see her again, here, tonight . . . and then later, I’d get to snuggle with her in her bed. It all just seemed so perfect.

“Have a good day,” she whispered and kissed me again.

“You too. See you later.”

She smiled brilliantly at those last three words. I was pretty certain she was feeling about the same way I was.

We held each other for another second . . . and then she left.

I watched the car disappear down the road . . . and then sighed. I’m not sure I ever felt happier.


	14. Chapter 14

I bit my lip and did my best to stifle the moan that so desperately wanted to escape my mouth. We were in Julia’s bed. She was behind me, with her lips on my neck and one hand roughly massaging my breast and playing with my very sensitive nipple.

It wasn’t something we’d planned . . . it just seemed to happen . . . and I was more than a little happy about it.

We’d had a quiet supper with the girls, and then a quiet evening, with me sipping wine and reading on the sofa while Julia helped Jenna with a poetry assignment that she clearly didn’t want to do.

It was kind of an idyllic evening at home with my girlfriend . . . except for that on-going tension we both felt because it was all a big secret.

I went ‘to bed’ early, and then waited restlessly in my room for a chance to join Julia. We both got impatient – maybe dangerously so – because it was barely ten when I slipped into her room. I strongly suspected Jenna was still awake . . . I just hoped I was quiet enough that she wouldn’t hear me.

We’d laid there, just holding each other, talking softly and enjoying the closeness. I’d turned my back so Julia could spoon me. it didn’t take long after that that she started getting a little frisky. She planted small kisses on my shoulders and neck, and sucked and nibbled my ear lobe. I certainly didn’t complain. I just snuggled against her, enjoying all of it.

And when she first started tracing her fingers lightly across my stomach . . . and then over my breasts . . . well, I didn’t complain about that either. She was so subtle – I was sure this was all part of her plan – but soon she had me gasping for breath while I arched my body, forcing my breasts against her warm hands, and struggling to keep myself from crying out and letting the whole world know how much I was enjoying myself. 

“Oh, Julia . . . is this a good idea,” I whispered between ragged breaths.

“You’re not enjoying yourself?” she teased as she pinched my nipple and grazed her teeth over my neck.

I think my soft moan answered her question.

For a minute I found myself absorbed in it . . . how amazing it felt . . . how she brought my whole body to life and made it tingle with excitement.

I must have had one last, resistant brain cell though, because I found myself saying, “What about Jenna? What if she hears us?”

“I guess you’ll have to keep quiet then, won’t you,” she said as her hand left my breast and found it’s way down, over my hips, down my thigh, and then back up and over my bottom. She eased me over, half onto my stomach. Her hand ran over my bottom again, and then slipped between my legs.

I didn’t resist her. I spread my legs quite willingly. I wanted her there so badly . . . I was so wet for her. 

She traced a finger lightly, just around my pussy, and then slowly entered me. I buried my face in the pillow to muffle the little cry that escaped my lips as I happily let Julia have her way with me.

Later as I lay there, still trying to catch my breath and still feeling the last little tremors of pure joy shaking my body, I heard Julia whisper, “So, how was that?” Her voice betrayed the fact that she clearly knew the answer to her question.

I let out a little laugh and sighed, “That was wonderful.” It seemed like an understatement. 

She squeezed me tightly and left a trail of kisses along my shoulder and up my neck.

I rolled over to face her and gave her a long, deep kiss. “You really are so wonderful,” I told her . . . and I absolutely meant it.

I could see her smiling at me in the dim light. I reached out and lightly brushed a hand over her cheek.

“And I’m sure nobody heard anything,” she added.

“That’s because I had my face buried in the pillow,” I laughed. I was amazed I hadn't managed to smother myself.

I continued tracing my fingers over her face . . . across her cheek, down her jaw line and to her mouth. She parted her lips and sucked my finger into her mouth, bathing it with her tongue.

I eased my finger out as my lips found hers again. I kissed her softly . . . and then again. My hand found her firm breast and gently caressed it as my lips made their way across her throat.

“Now what can I do for you,” I whispered as I traced a finger just lightly over her very stiff nipple.

I saw her biting her lip, trying to quiet herself. She placed a hand on mine . . . and then guided it to her mouth and kissed it.

“I appreciate it . . . really I do. But I think someone will hear me . . . even if you bury my face in that pillow.” 

I felt bad for her. She sounded so torn . . . and maybe a little frustrated. I know Julia enjoys our sex life every bit as much as I do, but there’s also this reality we have to deal with . . . and I guess we both knew she was right.

I brushed my fingers over her cheek again as I said, “I’m so sorry. That’s not fair.”

She managed a smile. “My mother always said it was better to give than to receive.”

I found myself grinning. “I’m not sure about that . . . but any time you feel like giving, I can guarantee you I’ll be only to happy to let you.”

She laughed softly as we snuggled into each other and just enjoyed our time together.


	15. Chapter 15

I’d fallen asleep in Julia’s arms again. We both seemed to sleep so soundly when we were together. When I’d woken up, it was just before seven. I’d been shocked and a little frightened . . . but then I glanced over at Julia, looking so lovely as she slept, and I just wanted to lay there and watch her. That isn’t creepy, right?

As I did, I started thinking about the pervious evening, and all the ‘fun’ I’d had. That put another very happy smile on my face.

I still felt bad for Julia, though. It only seemed fair – given the wonderful present she’d given me – that I should return the favor. Like she’d said, sometimes it’s better to give . . . especially when you care about the person. And I was only too glad to . . . if we could find the right time.

We’d talked a little about it the previous night. Julia couldn’t get off at noon again today because of some work luncheon . . . which sucked. I mentioned that Sophie was going to be out later in the evening, but Julia was certain Jenna would be around, because she reffed youth soccer on Saturdays, and she had to be there early. Apparently that usually meant she didn’t stay out very late on Fridays.

“How about earlier in the evening? Maybe Jenna will go out for a bit after supper . . .and maybe Sophie will go hang with her friends before the movie.” I think Julia was sounding a little desperate.

I shook my head sadly. “Sorry, I’ve got a couple of showings. I’ll probably be out until at least eight . . . unless they decide to put in an offer. . . then who knows.”

We knew Jenna would be out Saturday morning . . . but I had an open house I had to be at, and then a couple more showings in the afternoon. Saturday evening, though, was a maybe . . . “Unless Jenna has friends over,” Julia said with a sigh. Apparently she often did.

“Well I don’t work Sunday,” I told her, “and Sophie works Sunday afternoon.”

Julia had just given a little shrug and said, “We’ll see,” although she sounded resigned to the likelihood that it might not work out either.

The truth was, we’d been kind of spoiled living together like this. Before my little incident, we’d been lucky to carve out a couple hours once or twice a week. So our experience this past week had been pure bliss. Still, I felt bad for Julia.

And as I lay there watching her sleeping, I had a thought. I decided it was actually a brilliant idea. But I knew we couldn’t wait too long . . . so I carefully peeled back the covers and slid closer to Julia.

I lightly kissed one of her lovely breasts while I ran my hand over the other, just brushing her pink nipple.

She made a soft little sigh in her sleep and shifted just slightly. I swear I could see a smile forming on her lips. 

I continued to lightly caress her as my tongue traced little circles around her quickly hardening nipple. I sucked it into my mouth and lazily ran my tongue over it.

She sighed again, only louder this time. God, the woman was noisy, even when she was sleeping.

I planted little kisses all over her one breast while I ran my finger around the hard nipple on the other. Julia started to come out of her slumber. She gave another happy sigh and I felt her run her hands through my hair, encouraging me to continue.

I stopped, though, not to be a bitch, but because I had other plans. I kissed her warmly on the lips and whispered, “Good morning.”

“What are you still doing here?” she mumbled, still half asleep. 

“Are you complaining?” I asked.

She just shook her head and continued kissing me. 

When our lips parted I sat back, so I could look at her lovely face . . . and I found myself smiling.

She finally opened her eyes and peered up at me. She smiled too. 

“I had an idea,” I told her. I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.

“Oh really?” she asked. She looked like she was actually starting to wake up.

“I thought maybe I could join you in the shower,” I told her.

“Oh really?” she said again.

I nodded my head. “Yeah. And I was also thinking . . . I doubt anyone could hear . . . if maybe I got a little carried away, you know, washing your back . . . or something.” As I spoke I felt my grin growing.

Julia was looking up at me, and I could see the instant she got my meaning. Her eyes widened, she took a quick little breath . . . and then a huge smile spread across her face. “What are we waiting for?” she almost shouted.

In a second we were both out of the bed and heading for her bathroom.

We had never shared a shower before. It felt wonderful, though, with the warm water washing down over us as I kissed her and ran my hands over her body. 

I pushed her up against the wall and buried my face between her lovely breasts, kissing each of them while I massaged them with my hands. I sucked on her nipples – not lightly like I’d done before in the bed – and I heard her moan loudly. I only hoped the sound would be drowned out by the shower and the overhead fan.

As much as I would have liked to really take my time, I knew it was getting late . . . so there was no gentle teasing and playing and slowly building up to it. While I assaulted her breasts with my mouth and one hand, I slid the other hand down between her legs. It drew another loud moan – almost a scream – as I brushed her clit and then slowly entered her. 

From there she just got louder.

Apparently Julia enjoyed the shower every bit as much as I did, because in a surprisingly short time I felt her body tense and then shudder as she screamed out in pure ecstasy. Her body spasmed . . . and then as the orgasm shook her, her legs seemed to turn to rubber as. I had to support her and guide her to the seat at the end of the shower. I got down on my knees and held her and kissed her as she relished every second of it.

“Oh, that was a wonderful way to wake up,” she sighed. I couldn’t help smiling.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t enjoy the moment too much. We actually had to wash up and get going. I went first while Julia sat and enjoyed the happy afterglow . . . and then I gave her a kiss and left her to it. 

She probably felt ripped off . . . I didn’t even wash her back like I’d promised. But I was sure she’d forgive me.


	16. Chapter 16

I slipped on my robe and glanced nervously at the clock. It was almost seven thirty . . . around the time Jenna usually got up. I could hear Julia in the bathroom, finishing up. I really hoped we hadn't been foolish.

I had no time to ponder it, though. I knew I had to creep back to my own room – quickly – like nothing had happened. 

I listened at Julia’s door . . . and heard nothing. I opened the door carefully and stepped out into the hallway, pulling it closed slowly, softly behind me.

When I turned around to head for my own room I almost had a heart attack. Jenna was standing there, staring at me, with a puzzled look on her face. 

“Heidi?” she said like I was the last person in the world she expected to run into . . . particularly coming out of her mom’s room. 

“Uh, Jenna,” I managed to get out in spite of a suddenly parched throat and my wildly beating heart. “Um . . . I was . . . uh.” 

I’ll tell you what I was . . . I was struggling . . . in a panic . . . until an appropriate lie came to me. I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled . . . or feel like shit about it.

“”Um, yeah . . . your mom was . . . uh, she was just letting me use her shower . . . yeah . . . so I wouldn’t mess up your timing in the morning . . . with the bathroom, you know.”

My explanation didn’t exactly seem to have the impact on Jenna that I’d hoped. She still stood there, staring at me . . . like she didn’t believe a word I said. Maybe that was all in my very guilty mind . . . but that’s the way I saw it

“Yeah, I was worried that you having to share the bathroom with me . . . well, I was afraid I was messing you up . . . so your mom . . . she . . . .” I just trailed off.

Jenna continued to stare at me . . . but then finally gave her head a little shake and sort of drifted by me towards the bathroom . . . pausing to glance back at me – like she totally didn’t believe me – and then pausing again in the doorway to give me one last doubting look. If she’d finished it off with a scowl and a door slam, it would have been a perfect Sophie impersonation.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and wondered what thoughts were going through Jenna’s head. I looked at Julia’s door. I so wanted to race in there and tell her what had happened . . . and then decided that was the last thing I wanted Jenna to hear me doing. So instead – reluctantly – I headed to my room to get dressed.

Those fears about this all unravelling on us were growing. The way my stomach was feeling, I was sure I was developing an ulcer.

I hoped I could catch Julia before Jenna saw her – so I could fill her in on my story. I sighed. Another lie. They were building up . . . and the weight of them felt like they were slowly crushing me.

Why was this starting to feel like back when I was a teenager, and trying to coordinate with my friends to fool my parents? The scary part . . . since that time I’d talked to my parents about those days . . . and so now I knew just how rarely they were actually fooled. That was a chilling thought.

Were Julia and I kidding ourselves that our girls weren’t going to catch on? Suddenly this whole idea of moving in with Julia – as much as I loved it – seemed completely foolhardy.

As I sat there, it dawned on me that I was doing it again. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I’d lost track of what was going on around me. I realized I could hear Julia and Jenna talking in the kitchen. Gulp!

I didn’t even finished with my make-up. I rushed out, hoping that I wasn’t going to walk in on a disaster of my own making.

When I got there, Jenna had her back to me, but I could see Julia’s face. She looked a bit flustered . . . maybe even bordering on panicky. 

“Good morning,” I called out as cheerily as I could manage in the circumstances. I was doing my best to disrupt whatever was going on.

Jenna turned to me and I thought seemed a little annoyed that I had interrupted. Maybe it was my imagination again, though.

Julia, on the other hand, looked relieved.

“Jenna just mentioned that she saw you after you used my shower,” Julia said. She looked tense and her voice sounded just a bit strained to me.

I tried my best to be casual. “Yeah, I was telling her how you had that idea . . . that you’d let me use your shower so I wouldn’t delay her any in the morning.”

Julia’s eyes widened for just a second and then I’m sure I saw her breathe a little sigh of relief . . . before I saw that slightly pained look cross her features. I knew that look . . . because I felt it all the time. I could tell she hated all these lies as much as I did.

Meanwhile, Jenna said, “Yeah, you really don’t need to do that. It’s hasn’t been a big deal. Heidi’s usually getting ready after me, so it’s no problem.”

“Jenna, she’s Ms. Gough to you,” Julia said immediately.

I gave Julia a little smile and without even thinking said, “Hey, it’s no big deal. I’m good with Heidi.”

Julia looked at me. I knew that look too. It was the one I always gave my ex whenever he contradicted me in front of Sophie. That used to make me so furious . . . so I felt like a total hypocrite . . . or at the very least, like an idiot.

I mouthed a silent, “Sorry,” as Julia and I shared a look . . . but eventually Julia turned to Jenna and said, “I guess if Heidi’s okay with it then that’s fine.” From her voice, I could tell that in spite of her words, she wasn’t totally fine with it. I wondered if Jenna heard that too.

I realized Jenna had been watching the whole silent back and forth between me and Julia, and now it looked like she was contemplating something. 

God, it was starting to seem like everything Julia and I did was another clue that made it all too apparent that something was going on. 

I turned away and took a breath to try and calm myself. I wasn’t sure if I was just being paranoid, but I really feared that if either of the girls looked carefully, they’d see the lies . . . and then maybe put it all together and see the truth too. 

Just to add to my paranoia, Sophie chose that moment to make an appearance. She glanced around the kitchen and immediately said, “Hey, what’s up?” I guess she could sense the tension in the room.

I took another deep breath, turned to her and did my best to smile. “Nothing. We’re just about to get some breakfast. What did you want?”

Sophie stared at me for a long second. Why did I get the feeling that if Julia and Jenna hadn't been there, she would have called ‘bullshit’ on me? She glanced at Jenna for a second, and then Julia – for a slightly longer look – before she turned back to me.

I found myself squirming under her stare. It’s like she knew something was going on – she probably sensed that I’d been lying to her – but she didn’t quite know exactly what it was. Or was that more of my growing paranoia?

I thought it was a perfect time to completely change the topic. “So you said you’d go shopping with me sometime. I was thinking of maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. Do either of those days work for you?”

Sophie gave me a little grin. “So I can take the day off school to go shopping with you. Sweet.”

I did a little eye roll – I wonder where I got that from – before I said, “No. We can go in the evening . . . after school. Maybe we could grab a bite to eat first if you want.”

The fact that her little grin didn’t change one iota confirmed that she knew what I meant all along . . . and that she was just testing me. I guess I was used to that.

“Yeah, Tuesday sounds good. I’ve got a Chem exam on Thursday, so I should probably study for that Wednesday night.”

I found myself smiling. I was going on a big shopping expedition with my daughter. How long had it been since that had happened? Forever. I felt quite pleased.

Apparently Sophie noticed the look on my face, because now she rolled her eyes . . . before she gave a “God, mom,” and a second eye roll.

I guess my distraction worked, because it seemed Jenna and Julia had moved on.

“I think I’m going to make some avocado toast,” Julia announced. “Do either of you want some?” she asked me and Sophie.

“Yeah, that’d be great . . . .” Sophie paused, glanced at me, and finished her sentence with, “ . . . Ms.. Clark.”

Julia gave me a quick glance and a somewhat annoyed look – and yes, I felt like a bit of an idiot . . . again – before she said, “Maybe you missed it, but I guess we decided you can call me Julia . . . if you want.”

I got another ‘look’ from Julia – which Sophie totally caught. She looked at me too, I’m sure trying to figure out exactly what she’d missed. She actually glanced Jenna’s way, as if she was going to ask her . . . but then frowned and quickly changed her mind. 

Instead she just mumbled, “Yeah, okay . . . Julia. Cool.”

I gave a little sigh. I’d definitely apologize to Julia . . . later. For now I joined her at the kitchen counter. I took over the avocados while she dealt with the toast.

We didn’t have any more drama – thank God – before we got the girls out the door. Julia seemed to move past my little faux pas, but before I hugged or kissed her at the door I gave her a heartfelt, “I’m sorry.” I didn’t have to explain what it was for.

“It’s no big deal,” she said, but I shook my head.

“No. It used to piss me off so badly whenever my ex did that . . . and he did it all the time. So I really am sorry.”

She looked at me and I guess she could see how sincere I was . . . because she gave me a big, lovely smile before she said, “Okay.” With a little grin she added, “Just don’t let it happen again.”

I grinned too. “I’ll try my best.”

With that we said our good-byes and I watched her heading off. 

It was a bit of an eye-opener for me . . . realizing that I was in a relationship again, and so I couldn’t just make up all the rules on my own. I think I’d gotten a little use to being a dictator. I knew, though, that I wouldn’t have any problems ‘sharing power’ with Julia.

Which popped another question into my head. How long did I think this arrangement might last . . . our living together? Until my place was repaired . . . or possibly longer? It was something that was hanging out there, in the background, but I’d chosen to ignore it. Now I found myself wondering. And I wondered if Julia had given it any thought.


	17. Chapter 17

I lay there with my eyes closed, just enjoying the moment. My head was on Julia’s shoulder and my arm thrown across her body as the two of us relaxed and talked quietly. It was a beautiful, sunny day, but since we actually had the house to ourselves, we’d ignored the sun outside and spent the whole afternoon in Julia’s bed.

It hadn't all been quiet snuggling, of course. Being around Julia so much seemed to leave me almost permanently aroused, and I got the sense she wasn’t too much better. 

The beginning of a relationship is always like that for me. Everything’s new and different, and I just can’t get enough. I honestly think the fact I’m with another woman only adds to it. That really seemed to makes everything even more unique and special. Oh, and the fact that Julia is an amazing – and very enthusiastic – lover . . . I have no doubts that’s a big part of it, too.

And both of us were so ready for it by the time Sunday rolled around.

I’d ended up working late on Friday, so by the time I got home, Sophie was on her way out, but Jenna was there. It was fine, though. Julia and I had spent a quiet evening watching a movie while I waited up for Sophie to get home.

Saturday I’d been busy with work too. My open house had been slow, so I’d spent most of my time texting with Julia. It was nice, but not quite the same as being there with her. 

The couple I took around Saturday afternoon decided to make an offer on a house. That’s always exciting – and not just for the commission I get, although that’s nice too. Of course writing up an offer takes longer, with all the paperwork and waiting for the seller’s response, so I didn’t get home until close to five.

Julia already had a Thai chicken soup simmering for supper, so we relaxed with a glass of wine, and then ate with the girls. Sophie was gone with her friends shortly after supper, but almost like Julia had predicted, Jenna had a couple of her friends over for the whole evening. 

Julia and I both read for a bit, and then watched another movie. I loved being able to spend so much time with her . . . but it was hard because I wanted to snuggle up, wrap my arms around her, and lay my head on her shoulder. We were trying to be a little more careful, though, so we behaved ourselves.

By Sunday, I was ready to forget about being careful. I wanted to drag Julia off somewhere and have my way with her. I half wondered what condition my house was in . . . and whether we could sneak in there. I had no clue what hours the workers were doing, though. I really didn’t want to get caught naked in bed with Julia when a gang of construction workers walked in.

Fate was on our side, though, because Sunday morning Jenna asked Julia if she could borrow her car. “Me and Taylor want to drive up and visit Kendra. It’s been ages since we’ve seen her . . . and she’s not that far away.” Apparently Kendra was a good friend of Jenna’s who’d moved the past summer to a neighboring town.

“Heidi’s here today, right?” She glanced at me and I nodded. “So if you need to go anywhere, you can use her car.”

I glanced over at Julia and nodded again.

“When are you going . . . and how long are you going for?” Julia asked. I tried not to show just how keenly interested I was in Jenna’s answer.

“We’ll probably leave in, like, half an hour and be home at, like, four . . . .” She hesitated. “. . . or maybe five?” The last part came out more as a question, because I think she thought she was maybe pushing it.

Julia looked at her for a moment. “And Kendra’s mom is okay with this?”

“Yeah, for sure. It sounded like her mom really liked that we were going to come see her.”

Julia took another few seconds before she finally said, “Okay . . . but no speeding on the freeway.”

Jenna stared at her, a little wide-eyed . . . almost like she was saying, “Mom, be reasonable.”

Julia sighed. “Okay . . . you can keep pace with traffic . . . but I don’t want you racing every other car out there . . . because if you get any tickets, that’s on you . . . and you can deal with the insurance too.”

“Yeah, sure mom.” Jenna was smiling now.

“. . . and home by five. No later. And don’t leave my tank empty,” Julia added, but Jenna was already heading off, phone in her hand and texting, no doubt to her friends.

As soon as Jenna was out of the room Julia turned to me. There was a huge grin on her face. I know there was one on mine too . . . and I was betting we were thinking the same thing. Sophie started work at noon, so once she was gone . . . we had the house to ourselves.

We needed to do some grocery shopping, so we immediately decided to handle that right away. “We might as well get it over with,” Julia said, but I could read between the lines . . . and I was all for freeing up our afternoon.

I really enjoyed doing something nice and simple and domestic like shopping with Julia. Sort of like the living together, it just made our whole relationship seem more real and permanent. 

Which got me thinking again . . . about after my house repairs were finished. It really was something I knew I should talk about with Julia. I just wasn’t exactly sure how to bring it up without sounding like I was pushing myself on her. 

I mean, living together because of these unique circumstances was one thing . . . but actually moving in . . . permanently . . . after we’d been going out barely three months . . . and, of course, with the big ‘secret’ still hanging out there. I wasn’t quite so sure about that . . . or about how Julia might feel.

When we got home from grocery shopping, Sophie was just getting ready to head off to work.

“Why don’t I drive you?” I offered.

Sophie looked surprised . . . I guess because I never drove her. I just grinned, and half whispered – loud enough that Julia could hear, “That way I won’t have to help put all these groceries away. Anyway, Julia probably has her favorite spots for everything, so I’d just be in her way.”

Julia just laughed and said, “Go. Because, yeah, I’d probably have to follow you around and move everything you tried to put away to its proper place.”

It was only a ten minute drive, but for a change Sophie was almost chatty. She talked a bit about things at school, and even – kind of bashfully, which I found weird for her – mentioned a boy she was working with on an project. I got the distinct impression she was enjoying having an excuse to spend time with this guy, and maybe she’d like to spend more time with him, outside of school. I played it cool, though . . . in spite of my almost uncontrollable desire to know more. Mom’s just want to know these things . . . so it was really hard for me.

Just as we pulled in to the mall I remembered. “So, you are going shopping with me on Tuesday, right? You haven’t changed your mind?”

She gave me a little smile. “And I can maybe get something too, right?”

I tried to hide a grin. “Yes . . . but remember, it about getting stuff for me. I’m getting kind of desperate.” I glanced at her for a second before I added, “But hey, if we find some nice stuff, maybe I’d let you borrow some sometime.”

That thought made her eyes light up.

We said our goodbyes and I watched her as she headed into the mall. I found it amazing. I couldn’t believe that we’d gone from our moody, almost confrontational relationship to this . . . in just over a week. It seemed like some kind of a miracle. I couldn’t really pinpoint what had changed . . . but I wasn’t complaining. This was more the relationship I’d always dreamed I’d have with my daughter. It made me smile.

I relished the feeling for a couple of seconds . . . and then remembered that Julia was waiting for me back at the house. I put the car in gear and headed off immediately.

It was such a struggle not to speed to get home. My self-control was rewarded, though, because I saw a speed trap about half way there. How pissed would I have been if I’d gotten myself pulled over . . . plus, how much would that have delayed me. That might have been the hardest part of it.

As soon as I walked in I called out Julia’s name. 

“In here,” I heard her respond. I was pretty sure it came from her bedroom.

When I walked in, I found her in bed. As soon as she saw me, she threw back the sheets and gave me a sexy smile. She was naked.

“What took you so long?” she asked in a sultry voice. “And why are you still over there . . . with all your clothes on?”

The sight of her had initially frozen me. I was just drinking in every inch of her body with my eyes. Her words snapped me out of the spell, though, and I began peeling off my clothes.

I climbed onto the bed, at the end, and softly kissed her foot. I slowly worked my way up her body, running my hands just lightly up and down her well toned legs and planting little kisses everywhere.

When I reached the tops of her legs, I planted a kiss on her pussy, and then traced my tongue slowly over it, from the bottom to the top. That drew a little moan from Julia, which made me grin.

I think she would have been happy if I stayed right where I was, but I resumed my journey up her lovely body. I kissed my way across her taut stomach and rained kisses all over her breasts before I teased her nipples with my tongue. 

Finally I made it to her waiting lips. I wove my fingers through her silky blonde hair and kissed her passionately. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and I eagerly welcomed it.

We lay there for ages, kissing and caressing each other’s body. It was such a rare treat for us, having time to just enjoy ourselves, without feeling rushed . . . and we took full advantage of it.

I’d always loved afternoon sex. With the sun filtering into the room it gave it an almost magical atmosphere . . . and having Julia there with me . . . that was definitely magical too.

Julia found her way on top of me. We shared a long, deep kiss, and then her lips made their say across my jaw line and to my ear. She kissed around it and down my neck . . . and she sucked and nibbled my ear lobe. As she did, her hand found my breast. She cupped it, gently caressed it and teased my sensitive nipple with her finger.

I just lay back and enjoyed myself. I still had my fingers wound through her hair, so I guided her . . . from my neck, to my ear, to my lips . . . back to my neck . . . and then down . . . until she was sucking my nipple into her mouth and lashing it with her tongue. A soft sigh escaped my lips. It felt so wonderful. Julia had such a talent for knowing just how to arouse me. I felt I was so lucky.

She really took her time . . . kissing and caressing my breasts . . . licking, sucking and pinching my nipples. It felt so good I didn’t want her to stop . . . but it was stirring up other needs in me too. At one point I tried to guide one of her hands down lower . . . but she just laughed softly and said, “We’ve got plenty of time for that.”

And we did . . . so I let her have her fun . . . because it was lots of fun for me too. 

By the time I finally felt her hand drifting across my stomach, I was thoroughly aroused. I had no doubt what she’d find when she made her way between my legs, but Julia gave a little, “Ooh,” and then said, “Someone’s a little excited.”

I definitely was. I moaned loudly as she traced a finger over my swollen labia and then slowly eased it into me. 

Oh yes! I was definitely excited. I arched my back and pushed my hips up to meet her. I was ready for a trip to paradise . . . any time . . . but preferably some time very soon.

Julia was still having her fun, though, taking her time and teasing me. She stoked up those fires . . . and then – maddeningly – paused, leaving me just on the edge . . . going mad . . . wanting that release so badly.

I moaned and writhed and tried to urge her on, but she seemed to be on her own schedule. Maybe I wasn’t made for us having all day . . . because I wanted it . . . and I wanted it now.

Finally she took mercy on me . . . and it was amazing. My body erupted and tremors of absolute bliss shook me until I didn’t think I could handle it. That was absolutely my idea of a trip to heaven.

I don’t know how I ‘endured’ those marvelous spasms, because they seemed to go on forever. In the end I just laid there, feeling drained . . . but also feeling exhilarated.

I pulled Julia to me, kissed her and squeezed her tightly. I whispered to her how amazing she was, and how amazing ‘it’ was . . . and how much I loved her. 

Yeah, I actually used that word. It wasn’t the first time either of us had used it . . . but it also wasn’t a word we used all the time. I’m really not sure why not, though, because it dawned on me . . . if this wasn’t love, I really didn’t have a clue what was.

It was so nice that we could just lay there, holding each other, not feeling like we had to rush . . .because I had every intention of repaying Julia for what she’d given me . . . but I was happy I could just enjoy the moment for a change.

I took Julia’s approach to heart when I started with her. I took my time . . . and teased her mercilessly. By the time I slipped between her legs and ran my tongue over her pussy, she had already been moaning loudly for some time. I really hoped we hadn't left the bedroom window open, or else I feared the neighbors were going to be getting an X-rated disruption to their quiet Sunday afternoon.

I guess I’m not quite as heartless as Julia, because once I started licking her – and could see how aroused she was – I couldn’t stop myself. I made it my mission to take her to that same heavenly place she’d taken me. I’ve got to say, that was about the easiest goal I’ve ever set, because a couple of minutes later she let out a scream as her orgasm erupted. 

I kept at her. I’m not sure if she had a second one . . . not that it mattered, because tremors in her body seemed to go on and on. I finally left her hard clit alone and just kissed and lightly ran my tongue over her pussy. 

When her spasms finally subsided, I crawled back up beside her and kissed her. 

“Oh God, that was so amazing,” she gasped between ragged breaths. You’d think she’d just run a 5k or something. 

We lay there for a long time, holding each other, sharing soft kisses and just relishing this precious time together. 

Finally Julia glanced over at the clock. “It’s almost four,” she said. There was a heavy dose of regret in her voice.

I nodded. We certainly didn’t want to end our idyllic afternoon by having Jenna walk in on us. That would definitely not be good.

Reluctantly we got up and dressed . . . but needless to say, both of us were smiling.


	18. Chapter 18

Monday morning has never been my favorite time . . . but even it felt more manageable after spending the previous afternoon – and the whole night – with Julia.

I walked into the kitchen to find Jenna sitting at the table. She had a yogurt and a banana in front of her, but neither had been touched. She was just sitting there, staring down at the table, deep in thought I guess.

She’d actually been a little weird ever since she got back from the visit with her friend. When she’d come into the house, she barely said, “Hi,” before she’d disappeared into her room . . . and she barely cast an eye toward me or Julia in the living room. At dinner time, I’m not sure she said a word. She kept her eyes down, on her food, but it seemed she was more playing with it than eating it. Afterwards she headed directly to her room again and we never saw her for the rest of the evening. She didn’t even come out to say, “Good night,” to Julia, which I thought was strange.

Both Julia and I noticed. We talked about it, but neither of us had any answers. “Something must have happened when she was visiting Kendra,” Julia said.

I just nodded. That seemed to make the most sense.

“I’ll just give her some space. It looks like whatever it is, she’s trying to figure it out.”

Again I nodded. Since we didn’t know what the issue was, there wasn’t much we could offer. And knowing teenagers, you had to wait until they were ready to talk. No point trying to push it, because then she’d probably just shut down.

So I was assuming she was still dealing with whatever issue she had.

“Morning, Jenna,” I said as I entered the room. I gave her a gentle smile that I hoped was reassuring. I guess I wanted her to know I was there for her if she wanted to talk.

She looked up . . . and sort of stared at me . . . almost wide eyed . . . like she was seeing me for the first time.

Something about the look left me slightly uncomfortable. I had no clue why, but there was something in her eyes that was disconcerting.

I turned away and grabbed a banana off the counter for myself. As I started to peel it, I heard Jenna say, “Heidi?” Her voice sounded a little weak and unsure.

I turned to her and smiled. “Yes.”

Her look now seemed a little more intent and determined. 

“Are you . . . ,” she started, but then seemed to falter. She dropped her eyes for a second. I couldn’t help notice how tense she was.

She finally looked back up at me. Now her eyes seemed filled with a mix of emotions. I thought I saw anger and confusion . . . and maybe hurt.

She opened her mouth . . . took a deep breath . . . and then all in a rush said, “Are you sleeping with my mother?”

Just as the words came out of her mouth I noticed Julia turning the corner behind her. I found myself smiling at her . . . until my brain finally analyzed Jenna’s words and, belatedly, realized their meaning.

My mouth fell open and it seemed all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I stared at Jenna, I’m sure looking horrified.

At the same time I heard a strangled gasp from Julia. 

I guess Jenna hadn't heard her come in, because her head shot around and she stared at her mother.

After a very, very, very long second, Jenna turned her eyes back to me. The anger seemed to be gone, but there was still plenty of hurt and confusion. “Are you?” she asked in weak voice that told me how close to tears she was.

I glanced at Julia. She had her eyes closed and was massaging her forehead, like she was trying to fight off a migraine. 

I turned back to Jenna, who’s eyes beseeched me to answer.

I took a breath and started. “Your mother and I . . . .” That’s as far as I got. Any number of lies were racing into my head . . . but I couldn’t seem to grasp onto one . . . or maybe I didn’t want to grasp one.

I turned back to Julia. She was staring at me now . . . looking terrified. I held her eyes, trying desperately to communicate with her . . . trying to ask, “What should I say?”

I’m sure she understood. She seemed so uncertain . . . but then she finally closed her eyes and gave a little nod.

I returned my eyes to Jenna and tried again. “You’re mother and I . . . we’ve . . . .” I froze again, uncertain how to continue.

That when Julia spoke, completing my sentence. “. . . we’ve been dating,” she said. Her voice sounded so pained, and I knew the reason. We’d both said we didn’t want our kids to find out on their own. We wanted to be the ones to break the news to them. And we’d fucked up.

I realized we’d totally and completely fucked up . . . when I heard Sophie, from the top of the basement stairs, say, “You’ve been dating?”

From the way she said it, you’d think she thought we were speaking a foreign language. It was like the idea was incomprehensible to her. She stared at me, open mouthed . . . glanced at Julia, and then turned back to me.

“Jenna, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Julia was saying, but somewhere in the middle of it Jenna stood and ran to her room. We heard an anguished cry from her somewhere down the hallway, and then her door slamming.

I looked at Julia and it broke my heart. She looked devastated . . . no big surprise I guess.

I glanced at Sophie, who was still staring at me. I couldn’t read her expression. Surprise definitely . . . maybe even shock . . . but beyond that, I just wasn’t sure. 

Finally she gave her head a slow shake and said, in an almost calm, casual voice, “I think I need a bit of time to process this.” She gave her head another shake before saying, “Fuck.” 

With that she turned and retreated to the basement. I didn’t even think to give her grief for swearing.

I wanted so badly to go after her . . . but I knew I had to give her some space . . . at least for a while.

I turned to Julia. She was still frozen in place, looking miserable. I went over to her, wrapped my arms around her and gave her a fierce hug. I felt her body tremble as she started to sob. I squeezed her even tighter.

I wanted to tell her it was all going to be fine . . . but I honestly wasn’t sure if that was true . . . and there’d been too many lies already.


	19. Chapter 19

We were both silent as I drove. I remembered how chatty Sophie had been . . . just yesterday. She hadn't said a word since she’d gotten into the vehicle, though. She had her ear buds in – I could hear the music playing, so it was plenty loud – and her eyes were turned and focused out the side window.

I still had no clue what she was thinking or how she felt. She was giving me nothing . . . but I guess at least she hadn't broken down in tears or hit me with that attitude that I knew so well. I suppose that was something

I’ll admit, I was a little shocked when half an hour after our ‘big reveal’ she’d come up the stairs and said, “I think I might as well go to school . . . if someone will drive me.” She didn’t exactly come across as being all cheery and happy . . . but really, it was pretty rare that Sophie acted that way.

Julia and I were still sitting there in the kitchen, feeling shell-shocked. We were at the table and I’d had my hand on hers, but as soon as Sophie spoke Julia quickly pulled her hand away. I really wasn’t sure what to make of it . . . if anything.

“Um, I’ll drive you,” I said, glancing over at Julia. She seemed oblivious. She was just staring down at the table, looking miserable. 

She’d let me hold her for a while until the tears had subsided, but I don’t think she’d said more than two words since Jenna had walked out . . . well, other than to call work and tell them she was taking a personal day. That was her one conscious act . . . before she’d slipped into this almost catatonic state.

I wanted to find some words to comfort her, but my mind was a blank. I had no idea what to say . . . which made me feel even worse. It seemed so wrong that I couldn’t find a way to help someone I cared for so deeply when she was obviously in such pain.

Which, of course, made me wonder how I was actually functioning, given the circumstances. I think I was just numb. I expected that at any moment it would all hit me and I’d be reduced to a puddle on the floor. But surprisingly, it hadn't happened yet.

I’d rested my hand lightly on Julia’s shoulder as I passed her on the way to the front, and I couldn’t help but notice the way she flinched. I pulled my hand away quickly and stared at her. Her eyes were still down, but slowly she raised them and turned them to me. They were red and puffy, and had that watery look that told me another round of tears might not be that far off.

I felt terrible. “Oh Julia,” I managed. There was a little quaver in my voice and I had to blink back tears of my own . . . I think more from how badly I felt for her than my own feelings.

Julia closed her eyes and I saw one big tear leak out of the corner and slide down across her cheek. She made no attempt to wipe it away.

I put my hand on her shoulder again and gave a little squeeze. This time she didn’t flinch. Instead she put her hand on top of mine and squeezed back. 

We both heard Sophie go out the front door. It closed with maybe a little more force than normal . . . but it wasn’t a full on slam that would have been hallmark Sophie. I decided to take that as a positive.

I looked back down at Julia. I hated to leave her.

Almost as if she could read my mind she said, “You should go.”

“Are you going to be okay?” I felt so bad abandoning her.

She nodded . . . and then gave a little shrug. “I don’t know . . . but you should go . . . drive Sophie. I’ll be fine here.”

Her voice didn’t sound fine . . . and she sure didn’t look fine . . . but I sensed that maybe she needed a little alone time to work through everything.

“Um, okay . . . I’ll . . . I’ll go then,” I told her softly, gently squeezing her shoulder again. 

She squeezed my hand back and gave me a weak smile. 

I couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her right where she sat. I was surprised at just how relieved I felt when she returned my hug. 

After a second I asked, “Should I hurry back?”

She took a long time before she finally said, “I probably need some time . . . to think. So . . . .”

Just as I suspected . . . she needed a bit of space. That was fine. “I’ve got a couple of things I really needed to get done at the office . . . so I’ll probably be an hour . . . no more than two.”

I released her and stood so I could see her. “That will be okay?”

She nodded. She still had that weak smile, and she was having no trouble meeting my eyes. 

I hesitated for another second . . . until I heard the car horn sound from outside. Classic Sophie . . . apparently she saw no reason for walking on egg shells around this whole thing . . . which in a lot of ways made me feel better.

It made Julia’s smile widen just a fraction too. “Go,” she said.

I nodded and I left. 

When we reached school, Sophie finally turned to me and popped out an ear bud. “You’ll let them know why I was late, right?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“Um . . . yeah, I can tell them you had an appointment . . . ,” I started until Sophie rolled her eyes and gave me an exaggerated sigh.

“Fuck, mom, you don’t have to lie about everything. Can’t you just tell them something personal came up?” For the first time I heard anger in her voice.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry . . . ,” I said, and I reached for her.

But before my hand even got close, she turned from me, opened the door and got out . . . while she tossed me a less than pleasant, “Yeah, whatever. Just make sure you call, okay?” She walked off without looking back.

For all the coolness she’d shown initially, it was clear there was anger – or maybe hurt – lurking not very deep under her tough exterior.

I felt bad . . . but once again it was the way another person else felt that seemed to be affecting me. And that raised the question . . . how did I feel.

I pulled away from the drop off area and around the corner onto a quiet side street where I parked. I just sat there, reliving the events of the morning . . . like they were running through my head in slow motion. All the pain and anguish . . . in Jenna’s eyes . . . on Julia’s face . . . even in Sophie’s voice. 

It just seemed so wrong that something that was so wonderful . . . what Julia and I had found . . . could cause so much pain. It made no sense.

Only slowly did it dawn on me that it wasn’t the relationship, itself. We had yet to find out how that would be viewed by our daughters. No . . . I realized what I probably always knew . . . it was more the deception . . . and I was pretty sure that was creating a very serious and very real sense of betrayal.

I mean, I know how shitty I felt when I discovered Sophie had been lying to me. It sucked . . . and yes, I felt my trust had been betrayed. So why should I not expect Sophie to feel exactly the same. And let’s face it . . . this was a pretty big deception.

I closed my eyes. I found myself gasping, because it felt like my lungs were suddenly empty. My whole body shook, almost violently . . . and I started to sob . . . uncontrollably.


	20. Chapter 20

“Well you look like shit.”

Those were the first words I heard from Julia when I returned to the house . . . although she did manage to serve them up with a bit of a smile.

She followed that with, “You didn’t make it into the office?”

When I just gave a weak little shrug she told me, “They’ve been trying to get hold of you. Someone named Simone said you weren’t answering your cell, so she called here. Sounds like they’d really like you to call them.”

I’d turned my cell off. Let’s face it, I’d been in no condition to talk to anyone. 

Julia took one more long look at me and then walked over and gave me a big hug. I so needed that.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly as she squeezed me tightly.

I raised my head off her shoulder so I could see her face. I gave my head a weary shake and said, “We fucked up.”

Now Julia’s expression turned solemn. She slowly nodded. “Yeah . . . we really fucked up.”

“How do you think we’d feel if our daughters lied to us like this?” I asked. It was sort of rhetorical, because I could see from the pained expression on Julia’s face that she knew only too well the answer to that question.

She sighed and shook her head. “And we’re supposed to be the role models.” She shook her head again. “Yeah, we fucked up bad.”

I’d already decided . . . this was an admission we’d have to share with our daughters. I had no clue if it would help fix what we’d broken . . . but I was sure that if we refused to admit our error, then dealing with the hurt would be that much harder.

I was pretty certain I wouldn’t have any problems convincing Julia of this. Probably she’d already reached the same conclusion.

There was something else that had been eating at me, though. I looked at Julia again and asked, “When? When should we have told them?”

She shrugged and gave her head a little shake. 

“I keep thinking about it, and I can’t figure out . . . what would have been the right moment.”

Julia looked off, thoughtfully, and finally said, “I don’t know either . . . .” She turned her eyes back to me as she added, “. . . but probably for sure when you moved in here.”

I found myself nodding. Of course we both knew why we didn’t at that point. Because we both selfishly wanted to have that extra time together . . . and we were probably afraid that the reaction from our daughters might ruin our chance. 

Admitting that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better. We’d lied to our daughters for my own selfish purposes. I’ll tell you, every time I think I’d hit bottom, I come up with something new that seems to sink me down just a little bit further. Fuck!

I stood there for another minute wallowing in self-pity . . . and then the phone rang.

“Your office?” Julia said.

I nodded and picked up the phone. It was a frantic Simone and much as I expected, she was looking for information on the Campbell sale. 

“I’m so sorry,” I told her immediately. “I’m just having a bit of a . . . .” I was so tempted to make up an excuse. When did I become that person who lied all the time. “. . . personal crisis. But I’m really sorry I did this to you.”

I gave her the information she needed and apologized again . . . and then maybe again before I hung up. I guess at least I felt bad about what I’d done. Maybe I wasn’t beyond redemption.

I turned to Julia and was going to ask her something . . . and then I looked down at the phone still in my hand. “Shit, I didn’t call the school,” I said. I pulled out my cell, turned it back on – 12 messages! – and found the number for the school.

“Yes, I know Sophie was late this morning. We had a bit of a family crisis we were dealing with . . . but she insisted on going to school.”

“Oh, I hope it wasn’t anything too serious . . . ,” the lady from the office said. She came across as being more interested in getting some juicy details than expressing any true sympathy. I wasn’t impressed.

I just said, “No, nothing tragic or anything. Just a family matter,” and left it at that. I was all ready to hang up when I noticed Julia standing there, looking a little sheepish, holding out her hand.

I gave her a smile, told the office lady, “Hold on for just a second,” and handed Julia the phone. Apparently she hadn't thought to call either. Thank God for Sophie reminding me.

When we were done with that I finally got a chance to talk to Julia.

“So . . . have you talked with her at all?” I asked very tentatively. Of course she knew who ‘her’ was.

She closed her eyes, took a slow, deep breath and gave her head a little shake. “For, like, a minute . . . through the door.”

That deeply sad, heartbroken look filled her face again. I gave her a hug and we stayed that way for a couple of minutes. Eventually I said, “She needs time to process this. I mean . . . it was kind of out of the blue . . . and probably a bit of a shock.”

Julia actually let out a harsh little laugh. “Yeah, I bet it was a shock,” she said . . . but there was nothing joyous in her voice.

We eventually moved to the living room. We both sat on the sofa . . . but we seemed to maintain a sensible space between us. It felt weird, in a way . . . but it also felt appropriate.

After a while I asked, “Would it be better if Sophie and I weren’t here . . . at least for tonight?”

Julia looked at me for a long time before she gave her head a little shake and said, “No, that wouldn’t be fair.”

I slid closer to her and took her hand. I locked eyes with her. I wanted her to see how sincere I was being. 

“It’s not about being fair,” I told her quite earnestly. “You need to do what’s right for you and Jenna. That’s got to be the most important thing . . . the only thing . . . for you.”

Julia nodded, and gave me a smile. “I know . . . and I appreciate your offer . . . but no. I want you – and Sophie – to stay. We need to work this out . . . I think all of us need to . . . .”

“Julia . . . ,” I started again. I’m sure my tone gave away that maybe I wasn’t in total agreement with her, but I only got that far before she gave me a stern, “No.”

We just stared at each other for a moment before Julia reached out and brushed her fingers lightly over my cheek. She gave me a smile. “Look, I need you to know . . . I don’t want to lose what we have.”

I smiled . . . because even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself . . . that was exactly what I wanted to hear from Julia. Her words gave me some hope.

I understood reality, though. “If it’s between Jenna and me, though . . . ,” I said softly, letting the sentence trail off. She knew what I was saying.

Julia bit her lip and stared at me. After a couple of seconds she said, “We’re not there, though, so you stay.”

“But . . . ,” I started. She shook her head.

“No,” she said again. “I know Jenna . . . and I don’t think there’s any way she’d ever want to stand in the way of my happiness . . . any more than I would for her. She just feeling hurt, and maybe confused . . . .”

“And betrayed,” I offered. 

Julia winced, but nodded. “Yeah, we’re back to that. I kind of betrayed her trust.”

“We betrayed her trust . . . for both of them,” I corrected her. 

Julia nodded. “But we’re going to make this right . . . and we’re going to do it together.”


	21. Chapter 21

I glanced over my menu at Sophie and wondered – for the millionth time – what she was thinking.

These last two days had been a little tense at Julia’s house. After I’d brought Sophie home from school Monday, we’d gotten her and Jenna together in the living room. That’s when Julia and I apologized – profusely.

When we were done, Julia had said, “I really think we need to talk about this. We – Heidi and I – want to know what you’re feeling. Please . . . let’s talk this through.”

Jenna, though, who’d had her eyes down and hadn't uttered a word or reacted in any way to anything either Julia or I had said, stood and simply said, “I’m not ready. I need time.”

She glanced up at Julia for a second and I thought she was going to say more . . . but instead she just turned and walked off to her bedroom without once looking up. At least she didn’t slam her door this time.

I felt so bad. I could see pain written all over Julia’s face. She and Jenna had always been so close, so I think this was particularly hard on her. 

Me and Sophie, on the other hand, had been battling on and off for most of her teen years. Did that make it somehow easier for me? I’m not sure.

I turned to Sophie. It seemed she was watching me . . . and Julia. Her face betrayed nothing. I was thinking she should definitely take up poker.

She didn’t seem angry . . . well, not seriously angry anyways. She typically didn’t make a great effort to hide it when she was really angry. But I still had no clue how she felt about . . . everything . . . me and Julia . . . and my many lies.

“Sophie . . . ,” I started to say, but before I got any further she stood and said, “I’ve got some homework I need to do.” She spoke in her usual tone . . . and that could be a bit harsh, even at the best of times. 

I watched her until she disappeared around the corner . . . and then just stood there staring at the empty air where she’d been.

Julia came up behind me, slipped her arms around me and said, “Well that went well.” She’d applied a heavy dose of sarcasm.

We hadn't seen either of our daughters that evening . . . and for the first time in forever, I didn’t spend the night with Julia. We’d both decided that maybe it was for the best . . . although I so badly wanted to hold her and just feel the reassuring warmth of her beside me. 

The next morning both of our daughters continued with their silence. Jenna seemed particularly sullen, but at least she was up and getting ready for school.

Just as they were almost ready to leave I remembered.

“Um, Sophie . . . we were supposed to be going out shopping tonight . . . .” my voice just sort of trailed off . . . because I was sure there was no chance she’d still be interested.

Sophie turned her eyes to me and stared for a long moment, before she totally shocked me. I expected a cool, “Well that’s not going to happen,” but instead she asked, “Are we still going?”

“Um, well, yeah . . . if you still want to. I mean, I want to . . . well, I need to, but . . . yeah . . . .” I was caught completely off guard . . . because I was just so sure there was no way she’d have any desire to spend the evening with me. After all, I’d barely seen her since the start of our little crisis.

She eyed me for several seconds before she gave her head a little nod and said, “Yeah, okay then . . . let’s do it.”

I’d felt ecstatic all day. Julia felt thrilled too. She’d texted me as soon as she’d dropped the girls at school. “Wonderful you and Sophie are going shopping together.”

I really hoped it didn’t make her feel bad that she’d had so little luck breaking through to Jenna.

About five Sophie and I left for our night out. I thought maybe Julia might have more luck with Jenna if we weren’t around. Well, I hoped she would, anyways.

Sophie and I had decided to get some food first, so of course I let her decide – a restaurant or the food court at the mall. I was pleasantly surprised when she picked a restaurant.

She’d been quiet since we’d left Julia’s, but I let her be because I didn’t want to push her. I knew how quickly she could descend into one of her moods, and I knew how hard it could be to drag her back out of it.

I glanced at her again over my menu.

“So you’ve decided?” she asked, without even looking up. I got the sense she knew I was watching her.

“Um, yeah . . . what about you?”

She nodded and set her menu down. She immediately pulled out her phone and started scrolling through whatever app she was into these days. I wanted to grab the phone from her . . . but I resisted.

Our waitress soon came and took our order. Just as she turned to walk away, Sophie set her phone down on the table and turned her eyes to me.

She took a second, and then spoke. “So . . . you and Julia.” She raised an eyebrow . . .but she almost had a little smirk on her face.

Her candor totally caught me off guard again. “Uh . . . yeah . . . yeah. We’ve been . . . .” I paused. I was annoyed by just how flustered I was.

In my mind I’d thought that if Sophie would just talk with me about this, I could explain it all and make her understand. She was giving me a chance, apparently, only I was finding it much harder than I expected.

I think Sophie could see I was struggling, and I think she had a genuine curiosity, because she kind of rescued me by saying, “I didn’t even know you knew Julia. So how did you two meet?”

“We . . . well, she was selling her house and buying a new one . . . when she was getting divorced . . . and I was her agent, so I was helping her.”

I paused, and then corrected myself. “Actually, the first time I met her was when I was helping out with the basketball tournament last year. You remember . . . I was coordinating all the volunteers . . . and Julia . . . .”

“Yeah, she was varsity coach,” Sophie added, and then gave her head a little shake. “You were volunteering . . . and I don’t even play basketball.” She had a small smile on her lips. We’d had this conversation before.

“They needed someone to help and they asked me because . . . .”

“Because they knew you were a sucker,” Sophie interjected and grinned. Again, I’d heard this before.

“No,” I continued. I sounded defensive, even to me. “No, they asked me because they knew I liked to help out and because I was a good organizer.”

“And because they knew you were a pushover and wouldn’t say no,” Sophie persisted. She seemed quite amused by herself.

This was the point in our typical conversation where I’d get annoyed . . . but I took a breath and just shook my head. What was the point. So instead I grinned right back at her. “Yeah, maybe because I’m a sucker . . . but at least I’m an organized sucker.”

That made Sophie smile. I think maybe she was just happy I didn’t keep on arguing. I don’t know why sometimes I feel like I have to ‘win’ any argument we have. Apparently there’s plenty to this ‘role model’ thing that I need to do some more work on.

Sophie just watched me for a moment while she took a drink of her water. As she set it down she said, “So that’s when you first . . . noticed Julia?”

I actually laughed as I recalled our interaction during the tournament. “No . . . to be honest . . . .” I grinned. “When I first met her, I was kind of terrified of her.”

That made Sophie laugh.

“She’s so intense. She can be kind of intimidating when she’d doing her whole ‘Coach Julia’ thing,” I added.

Sophie kept right on laughing, before saying, “Yeah, I’ve heard. One of my friends – Deana – she’s on the varsity team and she was scared shitless of Julia.”

I didn’t say anything . . . I just pursed my lips and gave Sophie a hard look.

She let out a little sigh, but then said, “She was really scared of Coach Julia.” At least she didn’t roll her eyes at me.

I gave her an approving smile and then continued on. It felt good being this open and honest with Sophie . . . and I was thrilled she seemed eager to hear what I had to say.

“Yeah, . . . well, then Julia contacted me out of the blue when she was selling her house. Maybe I mentioned I did real estate when we talked during the tournament, or maybe she heard somewhere. Either way, she called me up and we got together to go over what she needed . . . and I guess as we worked together I started to realize what a really wonderful person she was.” I could keep the smile off my face as I spoke.

We sat in silence for a moment while Sophie absorbed what I’d told her.

I could see her sneaking little peeks at me as she drank more water, and I sensed she had some questions.

She seemed hesitant, so I finally said, “What? What do you want to know?”

Sophie dropped her eyes and seemed to gather her thoughts. She looked a little sheepish, which was so unlike her.

Finally she spoke. “So . . . you were attracted to Julia?”

I hesitated . . .and then gave a little nod. “Yeah . . . like I said, she really is a wonderful person. And I guess the more time I spent with her . . . well, the more I found myself . . . interested in her.”

“And she’s kind of hot, too” Sophie added.

That caught me by surprise. I found myself blushing . . . which seemed to delight Sophie.

She got a big grin. “Most of the guys on the varsity team show up early so they can check out the girls team while they practice . . . but it sounds like a lot of them are checking out Julia too.”

That didn’t do anything for my bright red cheeks. I dropped my eyes and tried to compose myself. 

Sophie gave me a minute before her next question. “So, was Julia, like . . . the first woman you . . . ?” she asked in a soft voice.

She didn’t finish her question. She almost seemed a little uncertain how to ask it . . . but I understood.

I dropped my eyes again. This was a lot harder than I’d ever expected . . . but it was a conversation I wanted to have . . . and I wanted to be totally truthful.

So as difficult as it was – and even though it would be so easy to lie – I said, “No.” I took a couple of seconds before I continued. “Back in college I . . . .” I paused and found myself blushing again. 

I glanced up and found Sophie watching me carefully, obviously interested.

I took a breath and finished. “I . . . dated . . . a couple of women.” I glanced up at her and added, a little sheepishly, “I guess I was . . . curious.”

I stopped. My face was burning, but at the same time I felt a sense of satisfaction that I’d been honest with my daughter. I felt unburdened . . . depending on how she took all of this, I realized.

“So . . . are you a . . . lesbian?” She seemed to struggle to get the question out.

It was such a difficult question . . . because I realized I’d never really thought about it. But the answer came to me pretty quickly.

“No . . . not really,” I started slowly. “I think for me . . . what matters is the person . . . you know, what they’re like. So it’s not if it’s a man or a woman so much . . . it’s more the type of person they are.”

Like I said, I’d never really given it a lot of thought, but I realized what I said was the truth. It was a bit of a revelation.

I looked up at Sophie and smiled. “And Julia . . . she’s a very wonderful, very special person. And I really care about her.”

Sophie was watching me carefully and seemed intently interest in my every word. After a second she smiled and just said, “Cool.”

I kept my eyes on her, though I still felt nervous. “So . . . you’re okay with this?” I asked. I’m sure Sophie could hear the uncertainty – maybe even fear – in my voice.

She took a minute, but then finally nodded her head. “Yeah,” she said, but then gave me a little scowl before adding, “Only I wish you would have told me instead of how I found out. That sucked.”

I nodded and gave her a weak smile. “I know . . . I fucked up.”

I enjoyed the shocked look on her face when I said that. And I was happy that a smile followed it. “Yeah, you fucked up bad,” she told me, grinning as she did.

I grinned right back at her. I’d give her that one.

After a second I put my hand on hers and gave it a little squeeze. “Thank you,” I told her, and I tried to let her see how deeply sincere I was being. “Like I said, I really care about Julia . . . and this would have been so hard if you couldn’t accept it.”

She squeezed my hand back before saying, “I think Julia’s good for you. You seem happy . . . and that’s good.”

She took a second, and then gave me a big grin. “Did you two start dating just after my birthday?”

I had to think back, but then I found myself smiling as I recalled. I felt a little sheepish when I nodded. “Yeah, it was right around that time. Why?”

The grin had grown and her eyes we sparkling with amusement. I recalled Sophie always being like this as a kid, but it was a rare sight in her teenage years. 

“I remember, I came home once – I think it was, like, the week after my birthday – and I guess you didn’t hear me come in, because when I went into the kitchen, you were making supper . . . only you were singing and doing this little dance. It was hilarious.”

I didn’t remember the specific occasion, but I remembered how I’d been during those first couple of weeks after Julie and I finally admitted to each other how we felt. I was so filled with joy that I thought I might explode.

“Yeah, you looked so happy . . . it was something I hadn't seen for a long time . . . and it was great,” Sophie continued. “I didn’t know the reason, but I was glad something – or I guess someone – was making you feel that way.” She ended it with a big smile and another squeeze of my hand.

Then she laughed. “But that dance . . . you’ve got to promise me you’ll never do that dance in public.”

“What?” I demanded. “There’s nothing wrong with my dancing.”

Sophie continued to laugh. “Yeah, maybe that was cool in 1976 . . . but not today.”

I shook my head . . . but I found I was smiling. It felt so wonderful laughing like this with my daughter. It had been way too long.


	22. Chapter 22

They essentially had to drag us out of the stores at closing time. We didn’t get home until just about ten.

I found Julia sitting in the living room, reading a book, with an empty wine glass sitting beside her.

I smiled the second I saw her and held up the armful of bags I had. “Success,” I told her. “I can now retire the two suits I’ve been wearing every day for the last week.”

Sophie stepped around me and said, “Yeah, well, you should have seen some of the outfits she was looking at. It’s a good thing I was there.”

“Hey,” I shot back, but I was smiling. I did appreciate her input . . . and she’d been very helpful.

I thought about it for a second, but then walked over and gave Julia a little kiss. 

I glanced back at Sophie, who had dropped her eyes.

“Are you okay with this . . . because we’re dating . . . and we’re actually quite serious,” I said.

I knew I was pushing it, but I wanted Sophie to know that I was done trying to hide things from her . . . even if I wasn’t exactly sure how comfortable she was with it.

I guess in a way I wanted Julia to know too.

Sophie shifted a little and then looked up at me. “It might take a little getting use to . . . but I’m fine,” she told me. She let her eyes drift to Julia for a second and gave her a little nod too.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. It just made me so happy that I didn’t have to hide my feelings any more . . . or at least I wasn’t hiding them from the people who mattered to me.

I reached my hand out and Julia took it. I stood there like that, smiling at my daughter and for once not feeling consumed with guilt. It felt refreshing.

Sophie returned my smile . . . and then raised up the bags she was holding and said – to Julia I guess – “And I scored, too . . . major.” She turned her eyes back to me and added, “Any time you want to go shopping, I’ll be glad to help.” She waved her bags around again as if to make her point. 

She looked quite satisfied with herself as she turned and headed off.

“And I expect to see you wear that dress,” I called after her.

“Yeah, yeah,” I heard her mutter as she headed down to her room.

Sophie really wasn’t one to ever wear a dress – unless she absolutely had to – but she’d found one and totally shocked me when she told me she liked it. I was only too happy to buy it for her.

After Sophie had gone, Julia gave my hand a little tug and I let her pull me down onto her lap. “So you two obviously had a good evening,” she said. I could tell from her smile that she was happy for us.

I snuggled against her. “Yeah, we had a really good talk . . . and I think she’s fine.”

Julia beamed at me. “Well I guess she’d better be . . . since we’re ‘quite serious’.” She raised her eyebrows as she said those words. She was taunting me with my own words . . . but since she was grinning when she did it, I was certain she wasn’t arguing with what I’d said.

“Well, I don’t know about you . . . maybe this is all just a meaningless fling for you . . . but I wanted you to know, I’m certainly quite serious.” I tried to keep a straight face as I said it, but I found a grin breaking through as I finished up.

Julia laughed. “Meaningless fling?” she giggled and started tickling me. “That’s what you think, is it? That I’m just out for a good time?” 

“Could be,” I managed between giggles. I’m a little bit ticklish and Julia knows it.

Julia stopped after a couple more seconds. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. “Well, what can I do to convince you I’m serious too?” she asked.

I just smiled and gave a little shrug. “I don’t know,” I giggled. “But if you want, I’m happy to let you try.”

We sat there grinning at each other . . . until we were interrupted.

“Mom?” It was Jenna. 

Neither of us had heard her. Both of our heads snapped up to find her standing by the corner, leaning against the wall, her arms crossed, her head down, not even looking at us.

I felt so self-conscious. I started to get up, but Julia tightened her grip on me and pulled me back against her.

“What is it, sweetie?” she asked. She managed to keep her voice calm and even.

“I just wanted to let you know . . . .” Jenna quickly glanced up, but then dropped her eyes again. “. . . and Heidi too, I guess . . . that I’ve got track practice tomorrow after school. It should be done at four-thirty or quarter to five.”

Her voice was so soft . . . so unsure . . . and so different from what I was used to.

“Okay, well, one of us will be there to pick you up,” Julia told her, and then added, “Thanks for letting us know.”

Jenna nodded. She took one more quick glance at the two of us, bit her lip like she was still unsure, and then quickly turned and disappeared back to her room.

I found myself watching Julia’ s face. Her eyes remained on that spot where Jenna had been long after she’d gone . . . but I didn’t see that deeply pained look I’d seen a few days ago.

She sighed, turned her eyes back to me and tried to smile. She was only marginally successful.

“How did your evening go?” I asked, suddenly feeling almost bad that Sophie and I had been so cheery.

Julia’s smile brightened just a bit.

“We talked . . . a bit,” she said.

She didn’t elaborate, so I spoke. “She looks a little better . . . but she’s struggling, isn’t she?”

Julia nodded. “I think so . . . but it’s tough.”

She was quiet for a second, but then added, “You know . . . you’re the first person I’ve dated since my divorce.”

I did know that.

“So even that’s . . . well, its hard for Jenna,” she continued.

I nodded. “And I guess I’m not exactly what she expected you’re ‘rebound’ would look like, huh?”

Julia cracked a smile. “My rebound? Is that what you are?”

I grinned. “Sure. Just a little bit of fun to help you move on. Right?”

She laughed. “Oh, we’re back to that, are we? Well, I guess you were asking me what I was going to do to prove I was serious.”

I grinned and nodded. “That’s right . . . you never did come up with anything to convince me.”

“Well, let’s see if I can find some way,” she purred. 

Julia brushed my hair back off my face and pulled me to her. She kissed me, passionately, while she ran her fingers over my face and through my hair.

“Mmm, that’s a good start,” I sighed when our lips finally parted. It was more than a good start, actually. My heart was pounding wildly and I already felt my body starting to heat up.

And then I remembered our whole ‘situation’.

“Uh, should we be doing this?” I asked. You don’t know how reluctant I was . . . but I was afraid if we kept going any longer, then I definitely wouldn’t want to stop.

Julia smiled up at me. “Maybe you’re right . . . and we shouldn’t be doing this out here . . . .”

Her smile grew and she raised an eyebrow, which to me seemed to be saying, “Why don’t we take this somewhere more private.”

Only . . . . “But Jenna?” I said . . . a little surprised Julia wasn’t more concerned about her.

Julia continued to smile. “Part of that conversation I had with her . . . I told Jenna that you and I were . . . very serious . . . .” She paused and gave me a smug little smile – almost a ‘so there’. “. . . and I told her that since we were adults, we weren’t going to keep pretending . . . and that you were going to be sleeping in my room from now on.”

I stared at her, a little stunned.

“Um, how did she take that?” I was almost afraid to hear the answer.

Julia shrugged. “Surprisingly . . . not too badly.” She paused and seemed to consider it for a moment. “I got the sense . . . maybe she already knew about it. Anyway, she didn’t really argue, and it didn’t seem to upset her.”

I stared at Julia for a moment. “You’re sure . . . absolutely sure about this?”

She grinned. “Would someone who’s ‘quite serious’ really ask me that?”

I didn’t grin back. I remained solemn. “I seriously care about you . . . but I seriously care about your relationship with Jenna too. I’m not going to do anything to mess that up. You know that.”

“Jenna’s working through it,” Julia said. “She still has divorce issues she’s never dealt with I think . . . and I’m sure they’re a bigger part of it than anything else.” She gave me a little smile. “She admitted, she actually likes you . . . and she thinks you’re good for me.”

I smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Really?” I was maybe a little surprised to hear that.

“Yeah, she says you mellow me out a bit. Can you imagine that . . . her thinking I need to be more mellow?”

I laughed. “And how mellow are you when you’re coaching her? To quote Sophie, some of your players are ‘scared shitless’ of you.” Jenna was one of the better players on the varsity basketball team

Julia laughed. “Good,” she said. “That’s the only way to get a dozen teenage girls to do what you want.”

I couldn’t help laughing too.

Julia brushed her hand lightly over my cheek and smiled up at me. “I’m convinced . . . Jenna’s going to be fine . . . and she’s going to be fine with you . . . so are you coming to bed with me . . . or are you going to make me beg.”

I grinned. “I don’t know . . . maybe that sounds like fun.”

“Really?” she growled. She dug her fingers into me and started tickling me again.

“Stop it,” I squealed, and then when she didn’t, I surrendered. “Okay, okay, I’ll go to bed with you.”

She grinned. “That’s definitely what I wanted to hear.”

“You big bully,” I pouted. 

She smiled, ran her fingers through my hair, and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”

That put a smile on my face. 


	23. Chapter 23

That night, it seemed both Julia and I took our time getting ready for bed. Now that it was all out in the open, it just didn’t feel like we had to hurry quite so much. That was nice.

We both washed up in Julia’s bathroom – I smiled when I noticed she’d already put out a towel and a cloth for me – and then as Julia slipped into her closet and began undressing I returned to my room across the hall to gather a few things.

When I returned Julia was already in bed. I guess she noticed the pajamas that I was carrying along with my robe. She arched an eyebrow and asked, “Really?”

I gave her a little shrug, as if to say, “I might need them.”

In answer, Julia pulled back the sheet so I could see she was totally naked. The sight of her always seemed to take my breath away.

“Hurry up,” she said, “because if you’re too slow I might grab my book. It’s just getting to a good part.”

“Hmph,” I snorted, and gave her a little scowl to let her know I was less than impressed with her comment. I set down what I had, turned to her. I gave her my sexiest smile . . . and then began to slowly unbutton my top. I was pleased to see I immediately had her full attention.

I carefully pulled the top out of my jeans, and when I’d undone the last button, I let it slide down off my shoulders so she could see my lacy bra and my bare torso. I gave her a second to stare (admire?) and then as I let the top slide completely off and onto the floor, I turned so my back was to her.

As I watched her over my shoulder, I undid my bra and shrugged it off, letting it join my top on the floor beside me.

I made a show of cupping my breasts and giving them a squeeze while I let out a little sigh. She couldn’t actually see it . . . but I made it quite obvious, so she knew exactly what was going on.

I was please to see her eyes never left me . . . and I was even more pleased to see how her breathing had started to pick up, and how she was absently playing with one of her own breasts.

I unbuttoned my jeans and wiggled my hips at her as I eased them down and stepped out of them. I gave her one more glance over my shoulder, and then slowly turned towards her, letting her take in my virtually naked body.

I’d say from the hungry look I saw in her eyes that she enjoyed my little strip show. I walked slowly over to the bed, letting my hips sway invitingly as I did, and keeping my own hungry eyes firmly focused on hers.

I slowly crawled across the bed . . . and then I straightened myself up, so I was on my knees, right in front of her, my hands running through my hair, my eyes still glued to hers and my lips parted. 

“I might need a little help for these,” I purred as I shifted my hips, to draw her attention to the lacy panties I still wore. I didn’t have to ask twice. 

Julia rose, she wrapped her arms around my waist and as she kissed my stomach, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of my panties and slid them down.

I carefully laid down and raised my legs so she could get them all the way off. She tossed them and then grinned down at me.

I gave her that sexy smile again. “Still thinking about that book?” I asked in a throaty voice.

“What book?” was all she said, and then her lips were on my stomach again, planting little kisses that quickly worked their way up to my breasts. I wove my fingers through her silky blonde hair as I guided her from one breast to the other, and back again. 

It had only been a couple of days, but I felt like I’d gone without forever. I moaned softly as Julia licked and sucked on my very hard and very sensitive nipples, while her hands stroked and kneaded my breasts.

“Oh, God, that feels so good,” I moaned.

“Mmm, this is much better than my book,” she replied as she grinned up at me.

“Shut up about your stupid book,” I grumbled . . . and I pushed her head back down to my very needy breasts.

She continued to give them the attention they so desperately needed for several more minutes, and then slowly kissed her way up to my neck . . . my throat . . . and then, finally, her lips found mine. We shared a rough, hungry kiss while her tongue found mine. 

She still squeezed and kneaded my breast with her hand, and teased and pinched my nipple.

She had me so aroused, I could barely stand it. When our lips finally parted I immediately moaned, “Oh, God, I want you.”

Julia stared down at me, her eyes on fire. “Where?” she demanded, almost to torment me.

“You know where,” I managed between ragged breaths.

I saw her smile . . . because she did know exactly what I wanted.

She took only a second, and then began kissing her way . . . down my body . . . to where I needed her so urgently.

I lay my head back, sighed . . . and spread my legs . . . desperately waiting for Julia to reach her destination . . . .


	24. Chapter 24

We hadn't planned that I’d pick Jenna up after track, but Julia got tied up and called me to make sure I could do it. Of course I said, “Yes,” but I still felt a little leery. 

I was certain Jenna was looking for her mom’s car, but then she spotted mine and made her way over to it, somewhat reluctantly I thought. That could have been my imagination, though.

When she climbed in, she gave me a soft, “Hi,” but didn’t make eye contact.

“How was practice?” I asked, hoping I could engage her.

“Okay,” she responded in that same quiet tone.

“This was the first practice?”

“Uh-huh.”

Did that count as more than a one word response? I wasn’t sure.

I put the car in reverse and started to back out, but I stopped. I considered for a second . . . and then pulled back into my spot and put the car back in park.

I sat there, staring straight ahead, trying to decide what to do. I got the sense Jenna was staring at me, probably trying to figure out what I was doing too.

It was several seconds before I finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Jenna. I know this isn’t easy for you . . . and I’m so sorry you had to find out . . . about me and your mom . . . the way you did.” 

Even if I didn’t really know exactly how she’d found out. Whatever it was, it was wrong. Julia and I should have had a chance to tell her . . . and Sophie.

I didn’t look at her. I kept my eyes focused straight ahead, out the front windshield.

Jenna didn’t speak, but again, I was certain I could feel her eyes on me.

“I really care about your mother,” I continued. “But you have to know, I will never come between you and her . . . ever.” I paused and then finally turned to face her. I wanted her to see just how sincere I was. 

“I’m sure you already know it . . . but you’re the most important person in your mom’s life . . . and she’ll always do whatever she needs to do to make sure you’re happy. You need to know that.”

I gave a little smile. “That’s what moms do,” I added.

Jenna just stared at me. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t look away either. Finally, she gave just a little nod and dropped her eyes.

I wanted to reach out and take her hand and reassure her . . . but I resisted.

“You’re allowed to be confused . . . and to take your time and figure out what you feel,” I offered softly. “Talk to your mom. Maybe she can help.”

I paused, before adding, “Or talk to someone else. I don’t know, but with me, I find sometimes that just putting what I’m feeling into words helps me get my own thoughts straight.”

I watched her carefully for a couple more seconds before saying, “If you’d like to talk to me . . . about this . . . or anything else . . . I’d be happy to listen. Or maybe you have a friend . . . someone you feel comfortable with . . . .” 

I just left it at that. I’d said what I wanted to say . . . and made the offer . . . even though I was doubtful I was the person she’d chose to talk to.

After a second she gave another little nod, but didn’t look up. She was biting her lip again, and seemed deep in thought.

I sat there, watching her for moment . . . and then just said, “Okay, I’ll get you home now.”


	25. Chapter 25

I’d dropped the girls off after school and then had to head back out because I needed to pick up some things for the supper I was planning.

I was unloading my groceries in the kitchen when I realized I could hear talking from the basement. I thought maybe Sophie had a friend over, so I headed to the top of the stairs to see who it was – typical paranoid mother, because I thought it might be a guy with a soft voice.

But when I listened carefully, I realized it was Jenna’s voice I heard . . .and Sophie’s . . . and they weren't screaming or sounding like they wanted to kill each other. I guess that grabbed my attention.

I heard Sophie saying, “. . . totally freaked me out. I mean, that’s not the kind of shit I need to hear first thing in the morning.”

I wanted to yell at her for her language . . . but I managed to restrain myself.

“Is there any good time for that?” I heard Jenna reply and then they both gave an uncomfortable laugh.

“So how did you know?” It was Sophie again . . . and then in a totally horrified tone, “You didn’t, like, see them did you? Oh, shit.”

“No. Thank God,” Jenna shot back, sounding equally horrified. “But trust me, it’s just about as bad . . . coming into your house and hearing your mother . . . moaning . . . so loud . . . like almost loud enough for the neighbors to hear.” I could almost feel her cringing at the memory.

I cringed too . . . but more because I realized she’d heard us. Oh shit!

“And you knew it was her . . . and they were . . . .”

“I knew it was my mother. I remember when I was young, I’d hear my parents some times . . . and my mom was . . . always . . . so freaking loud.”

“Shit, that’s . . . .”

“Messed up . . . .”

“Yeah, like, deeply disturbing.”

“Definitely. I’m probably scarred for life.” Jenna actually sounded like she was joking a bit.

They were quiet for a couple of seconds before Sophie asked, “So what did you do?”

“I got the fuck out of there,” Jenna replied. “I thought of just slamming the front door or whatever so they’d know I was home . . . but . . . .”

“What?”

“Well, I had no clue . . . then . . . who mom was with . . . and there was no way I wanted to meet some random guy my mom was screwing.”

“Fuck, no. Hey, I don’t blame you. That would just be . . . .”

They both said, “. . . awkward,” at the same time

“Yeah, more than that . . . shit,” Sophie added.

They were quiet for another second before Jenna started up again. “I snuck out of there and just drove down the street and parked. I didn’t know where to go . . . and I guess I thought . . . .”

“You thought you’d see who it was?”

“Yeah, like, if it was someone I knew.”

“Like Mr. Dawson?” Sophie offered, although I could hear from her voice that she was taunting, or maybe teasing, Jenna.

I knew there was a Mr. Dawson who was a math teacher at their school. I just assumed Sophie meant him.

“Oh, gross. No. Definitely not,” Jenna replied immediately, not trying to hide her distaste in the least.

“Deana told me he was always hanging around practice, trying to chat with your mom.”

“Yeah, well, mom thinks he’s a creep . . . and she’s not wrong.”

Both girls laughed. I heard Sophie add a, “Yeah, no kidding. Total creep.”

It finally dawned on me . . . Jenna was talking about Sunday afternoon . . . and after she got home – well, when we thought she got home – she was acting so strange. Now I guess I knew why. Shit!

The girls were quiet for a bit until Sophie spoke. “So how long were you there.”

Jenna took a second before saying, “I sat there for, like, an hour . . . and no one came out . . . and then I noticed that your mom’s car was still in the driveway . . . so I started to wonder where she was while my mom was . . . .” She didn’t bother completing that thought.

“So I drove up like I was just getting home and I walked in . . . and both of them were sitting there in the living room . . . and you know, they were smiling at each other like they always do . . . .”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Sophie interrupted. “All the time. I just never realized . . . .”

“Yeah, me neither . . . but I thought I heard them talking in my mom’s room a few times last week, after we’d all gone to bed . . . and then I caught your mom sneaking out of mom’s room the other morning . . . and she looked so guilty.”

Sophie let out a little laugh. “No shit. Yeah, mom always things she’s so sneaky, but she’s actually totally hopeless. And every time she lies . . . it’s just so obvious.” 

Sophie was sounding a little harsh . . . but maybe I deserved it.

Jenna continued on. “I looked at my mom and yours, just sitting there . . . and it’s like someone smacked me. I just knew. I knew it was the two of them I’d heard.”

“Oh fuck . . . how did you not lose it?”

“I think my brain just sort of shut down. It kind of went on auto pilot. It was so . . . .”

“Huge . . . fucking huge.”

“Yeah . . .I think I barely made it to my room . . . I don’t even remember, really . . . and then I just sat there . . . like something in my brain had blown . . . because it wouldn’t work. I mean, I knew I was right . . . I just knew . . . but still, it’s like I couldn’t believe it . . . I just couldn’t. It just seemed too . . . insane.”

I maybe missed a bit of the conversation because just then Julia came in the front door. “Hey,” she called, but I waved my arms frantically and signalled for her to be quiet. 

She looked at me like she was thought I’d lost it, but I made my way quietly over to her and whispered, “The girls are talking . . . in the basement.”

She smiled. “That’s great,” she started, but I shook my head frantically again before adding, “They’re talking about us . . . Jenna came home early Sunday . . . and heard us.”

“Oh,” Julia said, quite casually. 

She didn’t seem to fully grasp it, so I added, “She heard us when we were in your room . . . in bed . . . doing . . . you know . . . .”

It took a second, and then Julia’s mouth fell open. “Oh,” she repeated, but this time it had the appropriate, ‘oh shit’ tone to it.

I grabbed her hand and tugged her while I nodded back towards the basement stairs. “Come on,” I whispered urgently.

Julia resisted me. “Should we really be . . . ?” she started, and I said, “No,” because she was totally right . . . but I still tugged on her hand . . . and this time she didn’t resist.

As we approached the top of the stairs I heard Sophie talking.

“. . . you afraid your friends . . . or everyone at school will find out?”

Jenna took a second before saying, “I don’t know . . . maybe. I . . . I’m not sure.”

“Do you think they’re going to . . . I don’t know . . . come out to everybody?” From the way Sophie said it, it seemed the idea had just popped into her head . . . and she wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about it.

“Oh God . . . I don’t know.” Jenna sounded a little freaked out by the idea. She took a second . . . and then said, “No . . . I mean, shit, they couldn’t even tell us . . . so I can’t see them just suddenly telling the world.” After another second she added, “At least not right away . . . but I can’t see my mom keeping it a secret forever.”

Sophie laughed. “I can see my mom trying . . . and failing . . . epically.”

That annoyed me . . . and it didn’t help when Julia gave me a little elbow and flashed me a big grin.

Our daughters were both quiet for another moment, before Jenna asked, “So you’re okay with it. With . . . our moms . . . .?”

I could picture Sophie giving one of her shrugs before she said, “You know . . . yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s different . . . like, a total ‘what the fuck’ kind of different . . . but yeah, I am.”

When Jenna didn’t respond, Sophie kept going. “Look, you haven’t had to live with the dating. I mean, some of the total losers my mother came home with . . . it was . . . sad. And I was scared . . . shitless . . . that she was going to settle for one of those assholes and we’d end up going through the same fucking shit I had to deal with when my asshole dad was around.”

Jenna still didn’t say anything, so Sophie added, “Hey, maybe Julia’s not exactly who I expected my mom to end up with . . . .” She gave a little laugh . . . but then turned more serious. “But at least your mom’s cool . . . and she’s nice . . . and they seem to make each other happy. That I can see for sure.”

“Yeah, they do,” Jenna seemed to concede reluctantly. 

They were quiet for a long time. I thought maybe they were done and wondered if Julia and I should move, before we got caught. I was sure getting caught wouldn’t be good. . . but I was so desperate to get a window into what the our daughters were thinking. I was sure that was doubly true for Julia with Jenna.

I actually started to back away when I heard Sophie say, in a quiet voice, “Hey, about Hunter . . . .” Sophie’s voice sounded so tentative.

When Jenna didn’t respond, Sophie continued. “I know you think I’m a total skank for . . . you know. Maybe you’re right . . . but everyone said you two were done and he said you were done and . . . and I guess I was a fucking moron because I thought he was a nice guy. . . and maybe I acted a little stupid because I thought he was hot.”

I felt my stomach tighten as I started to suspect what Sophie was saying. I mean, did I really think my daughter was a virgin? Maybe. Maybe I deluded myself and lived in some kind of denial because otherwise I’d have to admit she was growing up and becoming a woman . . . and wasn’t just my little girl anymore. Fuck.

Julia slipped an arm around me and gave me a squeeze. She could obviously sense my despair. I leaned my head on her shoulder . . . it helped . . . but I still felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

Sophie grew quiet again. Even from where we were, you could somehow feel the tension between her and Jenna. Obviously this was the big ‘event’ that stood between the two of them.

Finally Sophie started talking again. “I didn’t hear until later that he was all pissed because you wouldn’t . . . . Trust me, you made the right choice. I just wish I never did . . . because, after . . . well, that’s when I found out what a fucking asshole he really was.”

More silence, and then Sophie again. “. . . and anyways, you really didn’t miss anything. For someone who likes to talk all the time, he really had no clue what he was doing. I mean, it’s not like I’m some kind of expert, but he was just sad . . . totally pathetic.”

Silence. I was sure Sophie was desperate for Jenna to speak to her . . . but since we couldn’t see Jenna . . . couldn’t see her body language . . . it was impossible to tell how she was taking any of this.

Sophie started up again. “But I’m really sorry . . . because I heard the asshole kind of shoved it in your face. What a fucking prick. I can’t believe I actually liked him.” Sophie sounded totally pissed.

After another minute Jenna finally spoke. “Hey, you didn’t know him. I went out with him for, like, six months. And I though he was a decent guy too . . . only it took me that long to figure out what a total fucking dick he was.” 

I was relieved that she didn’t sound angry . . .or at least not at Sophie.

“Well you could have warned me,” Sophie quipped – which I take it wasn’t well received, because she immediately said, “Yeah, too soon. Sorry.”

I could hear Sophie take a deep breath before she started talking again. 

“Look, I get it if you hate my guts for what I did,” she said, “but I just wanted to tell you . . . that if I’d known about why you two broke up . . . or if I’d known what a piece of shit he was . . . or if I had it all to do over again . . . there’s no way I’d ever let that prick near me.”

In a quiet, and quite miserable voice she added, “I really feel like shit about it. I definitely didn’t mean to dis you. Fuck, honestly, I guess I didn’t even consider you. So I’m sorry. Really.”

After a minute I was thrilled to hear Jenna say, “Yeah, no problem. We were done and I wanted nothing to do with him . . . so I don’t know why I’ve been such a bitch about it.”

“Hunter is such a fucking asshole,” Sophie offered, with total conviction.

“A total fucking dick,” Jenna readily agreed.

“So . . . we’re good?” Sophie asked, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Jenna replied, like maybe it was a topic she’d be happy to never discuss again.

“That’s good . . . because I’m starving. I wonder what mom’s making for supper tonight.”

“Yeah. Hey, Heidi’s a good cook. You’re lucky.”

And just like that Julia and I realized our daughters were heading towards the basement stairs. We just about tripped over each other trying to scramble away, so scared that they’d catch us. That would be all we’d need. So much for rebuilding trust. But there were some things a parent just had to do . . . whether their kids liked it or not. Well, that was my rationalization anyways.


End file.
